How to get over fear and create a better life for yourself

You've probably had an experience where you were so frozen by fear that you couldn't do anything but sit and stare. Maybe it was a snake in the road or seeing your friend crash their bike. Perhaps it was when you were telling someone "I love you" for the first time.

Regardless of what form this fear took over your life, I believe that there are ways to get over it. We will be exploring how to get over the fear in this article, starting by looking at the benefits of overcoming your fears.

Benefits of overcoming your fears

Here are some examples of why you should try to overcome your fears:

Easier personal relationships. How can someone love you back when they are too busy being afraid of you? You don't have to see their fear as a negative. In the right circumstances, it may be an indicator of how much they care about you.

Less stress in your life

If your day is filled with activities that scare you, then this will consume all your thoughts and energy. Instead, you'll be able to focus on what really matters to you and live a life that's true to your values.

More confidence

I believe the opposite of fear is not bravery, so much as it is confidence. People who feel confident tend to take more risks than people who are scared of everything. If anything, they know which risks are worth taking and which ones aren't.

Self-acceptance

Often people become defined by their fears. They see themselves as a failure because they're scared of doing things that everyone else can do easily. To overcome your fears means to acknowledge them and accept yourself anyway. It takes courage but the benefits are enormous because you'll be able to live up to your full potential.

Types of fear

Before discussing how to get over the fear, it's important to understand where fears come from. There are many different kinds of fear that manifest themselves in distinct ways. Here are some examples:

1) Social phobia

These are the most common kind of intense fears. They usually include intense worry about what others think of them and severe anxiety when they're in social situations.

2) Fear of change

These can be difficult fears to deal with because you have to do something different from what you're used to. It is hard for humans to change the routines that they've been doing for a long time.

3) The fear of being trapped

People who have this fear often try to overcome it by making a plan of action. Then they're able to move forward with their lives because they know what the next step is going to be.

4) Fear of being different

This kind of fear usually arises from a feeling that the world would be a better place if everyone thought and acted the same way. It can be hard to overcome this fear because it often goes along with thinking that you're better than everyone else.

5) Fear of failure

This is something that many people struggle with because it causes them to be afraid of trying new things (which might fail). If you go through life never taking risks, then you will never be able to enjoy the rewards that come from even a failed attempt.

6) Fear of success

Although this fear is rarer than others, it exists and can cause some people to sabotage their own efforts in life. The subconscious mind fears failure so much that it attempts to prevent you from achieving your goals.

How to get over the fear

Now that we've discussed the different types of fear and why you may want to get over them, it is time to look at how you go about actually doing this. Unlike many articles on overcoming fears, I do not believe that there is a universal method that works for all people. In fact, some advice given in other articles can be detrimental to your efforts if it doesn't fit your particular situation.

For example, many articles and books suggest that you try to imagine yourself in a situation where you face your fears. While this can be helpful for some people, it may be unhelpful with social phobias. Your imagination may just reinforce the problem because you haven't yet overcome it in real life.

On the other hand, if you're afraid of flying then imagining yourself on a plane may actually help calm your nerves. When I wrote about how to get over fear, I looked at many different methods that people have used and then added my own philosophy. After using this method for a few years now, I believe it is the best one out there.

1) Accept what you cannot control

You cannot control everything that happens to you, so stop trying to do so. Realize that many things in life are not meant for you to understand right away. It's better just to accept these things and move on instead of questioning them forever. Get over fear by accepting the fact that it is part of life.

2) Re-frame your view

Think about the different things you fear and why you were taught to think in this way. After reading this article, you should be able to understand yourself better than before (because you've analyzed your fears). This will make it much easier for you to deal with the problem because you will understand exactly why it's there.

3) Make a plan

Once you know what you're afraid of, it is time to make a plan for overcoming this fear. This means that you need to figure out what works best for your situation and what doesn't work at all. For example, if you're afraid of public speaking then you might practice in front of a mirror or volunteer to give some talks at work.

4) Just do it

If your plan involves facing your fear, then just get started and don't worry about the outcome. The worst thing that you can do is wait until tomorrow and come up with new excuses for not trying yet. Get over fear by just doing it, not by thinking about how scary it is beforehand.

5) Celebrate

When you do manage to get through a terrifying experience, then celebrate your success. This will give you the momentum that you need in order to keep going through life without being held back by fear. Get over fear by looking at the big picture and realizing that you've come out on top.

6) Don't dwell

You should not sit around analyzing what happened to you, because this will only cause more problems in the future. Get over fear by simply acknowledging your success and moving on to other things. If there is another challenge ahead of you (which there always is), then accept that challenge and move on to the next thing.

7) Repeat

You can't get over the fear in one day or even one year. It is something that you have to work on your whole life, but the more often you face it the better prepared you are for doing so in the future. Keep repeating these steps until you no longer feel the need to do so, and you will have finally gotten over fear.

Conclusion

It takes time and effort in order to get over most fears, but it is possible if you know what you're doing (which is what this article will help you with). You may not ever be 100% without any fear at all, but you can get pretty close if you follow these steps.