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"Embracing Disapproval: The Path to Authentic Happiness"

My personal experience

By popoola emmanuelPublished 2 months ago 3 min read
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Nearly two years have elapsed since I first delved into the pages of "The Courage to Be Disliked" by Ichiro Kishimi, and the essence of its philosophy continues to reverberate within the depths of my soul. The book introduces a fascinating premise: the key to achieving happiness lies in our ability to embrace the possibility of being disliked by others. Initially, this concept struck me as peculiar and somewhat counterintuitive. How could one possibly find joy in the face of disapproval and unpopularity? It was only upon deeper reflection that I came to understand the profound truth at the heart of this paradox. True happiness emerges not from external validation but from a place of genuine authenticity within ourselves. When we allow the expectations and judgments of others to steer the course of our lives, we stray further from the path of true contentment. To seek what is truly best for ourselves is to accept that we will, inevitably, create ripples of discontent among those around us. After all, every action we take, every decision we make, is subject to the subjective interpretations of those who witness it.

One crisp morning, as I sat in contemplation on my balcony, my thoughts wandered to the concept of objective truth. I gazed up at the vast expanse of the sky, marveling at the simplicity of pointing upwards. Such a gesture seems universally understood and irrefutable. Yet, in that moment, I was struck by a sudden realization: we inhabit a spherical planet, adrift in the vastness of space, where the concept of 'up' is entirely relative. This epiphany served as a potent reminder that even the most apparent truths are imbued with layers of complexity upon closer examination. For instance, consider the numerical distinction between one and two. At a glance, the difference appears to be merely one. However, within this seemingly straightforward gap lies an infinity of decimals, a continuum that stretches into the boundless. This insight illuminated for me the inherent subjectivity that permeates every facet of our existence. The journey we each embark upon, guided by our own internal compass, cannot be accurately assessed or judged by any external observer. It is a venture into the unknown, a testament to our trust in our own judgment and the unique paths we choose to forge.

Navigating life in defiance of our primal instincts to conform and belong presents a formidable challenge. Historically, the very survival of our species hinged on our ability to integrate into social groups, where exclusion or ostracization could signify a death sentence. However, humanity has transcended these primal fears, evolving into beings capable of pursuing individuality and self-expression. Embracing the courage to be disliked has thus emerged as an indispensable component of a life rich in meaning and fulfillment. My own journey towards this realization has been fraught with obstacles and moments of self-doubt, yet with each step forward, I find myself growing stronger, more resilient. The pursuit of authenticity, despite the inevitable criticism and misunderstanding it may provoke, is a price I have willingly paid time and again.

Throughout history, countless individuals have navigated the tumultuous waters of public scrutiny and condemnation. Figures such as Thomas Jefferson, who grappled with relentless vilification in the press, and contemporary celebrities like Justin Bieber, who endure a barrage of criticism in the digital age, serve as poignant examples of the universal nature of this struggle. Their experiences underscore a fundamental truth: exposing oneself to the world invites judgment, yet it is a necessary sacrifice on the altar of authenticity. The fear of judgment, of failure, looms large in the hearts of many, yet it is through embracing the courage to be disliked that we can truly liberate ourselves from the chains of regret. Aristotle once posited that the only way to avoid criticism is to do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing—a fate far more dismal than any critique.

As I reflect upon the path I have traveled, I recognize that the courage to be disliked encompasses more than merely confronting external judgments; it involves a deep, introspective battle with our innermost fears and insecurities. It is a call to reset our perspectives, to celebrate the uniqueness of our individual journeys, and to affirm that our worth is not contingent upon the approval of others. Life is an intricate tapestry of subjective experiences, and to embrace our personal odyssey, despite the divisions it may sow, is the epitome of courage. This realization has imbued my existence with a newfound sense of purpose and determination, propelling me forward into the unknown with the confidence that, regardless of the challenges I may face, I am on a path that is authentically my own.

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Nice work

Very well written. Keep up the good work!

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  1. Eye opening

    Niche topic & fresh perspectives

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