Easy Ways To Find Yourself

People often say things like "I need to find myself" before announcing a break from dating, going on a silent meditation retreat, or quitting their work. It's a vague statement, but it's also dramatic, so it typically gets the point across that something needs to change. But, exactly, what does "finding yourself" imply? What's more, how do you know you've found it?

Jenny Yip, PsyD, board-certified clinical psychologist and clinical assistant professor of psychiatry at the University of Southern California Keck School of Medicine, says, "When individuals say 'finding themselves,' what they truly mean is finding purpose in life." Creating clear, measurable goals and establishing values, she argues, is all it takes to find purpose in your life. There are numerous ways to accomplish this, none of them involve drama.

For individuals who are feeling lost, Dr. Yip offers some ideas and advice on how to "discover yourself" - whatever that means to you.

Discover your values.

According to Dr. Yip, there is so much going on in our everyday lives that it's easy to lose sight of what's important to us. What are the factors that can help you achieve a higher quality of life? Everyone is different: perhaps you feel compelled to be close to your family in order to feel fulfilled. Maybe you're most concerned about the environment and want to be surrounded by it. Whatever it is, figure out what's essential to you and see what you can do each day to make it happen. "It's part of our journey in life to figure it out," she says, so don't expect to find it immediately away.

Block out the noise.

Unplugging may seem like a cliched approach to reconnect with yourself, but detaching is often important in a society where we are so easily distracted, according to Dr. Yip. "You don't have to leave the country to withdraw from the outside world," she argues. You could, for example, warn your coworkers that you won't respond to emails after a particular hour at night, or go a weekend without checking social media and see what happens. According to her, this is one method to set limits so that you may give yourself space and time. What are the chances? It could be transient, or it could permanently alter your connection with technology.

Develop your identity.

Who are you, exactly? Are you employed? Is it a human? Is it one of your friends? Is there a brother or sister? According to Dr. Yip, you probably play a variety of roles in your life, but we frequently become so focused on one area (such as our jobs) that it's tough to zoom out and think about anything else. "We also discover our identities through our hobbies, interests, and abilities," she continues. "Work is a significant part of who you are, so how do we get away from it?" Remember that you are more than your work title.

Find people you like.

Relationships have a major impact on our wellness, for better or worse, so make sure you're spending time with people you respect and who value you, according to Dr. Yip. She adds this encompasses love relationships, friendships, and professional ties. "Every partnership will bring something to the table, and it's up to you to determine how much of this new item you enjoy and want to include into your life." You may discover that a buddy is no longer benefiting you and that it is time to terminate ties.

Be open to change.

The important thing to remember is that "finding oneself" is a journey with no set destination, according to Dr. Yip. You'll continue to look for yourself as you go through transitional stages in your life, and you might be shocked by what you find, she says. "What is useful and meaningful at each period of your life will change and evolve as you change and evolve," she says. Dr. Yip recommends checking in and just asking yourself, "Am I using this time to improve my quality of life?" no matter what stage you're at. She says, "The time you have now is the time you have now."