A way to handle unbearable grief

How can you handle unbearable grief?

There are no easy answers for that affliction. Especially if there are some feelings of lingering love, or guilt for not having been able to say something we ought to have said

Grief is the most difficult emotion to deal with.

There’s no possibility to turn back time, make things right, teleport for a moment to embrace or say what wasn’t said to make amends, or even a good-bye.

In 2010, Ikaru Sasaki of Japan lost his cousin, and his grief was unbearable. He then came up with an ingenious idea, that although couldn’t turn back time, but made his grief diminish to a level that he could go on with his life. In his garden he set up an old phone booth, with an old phone inside it. The phone was not connected to anything. He called it ‘’A Wind Phone, 風の電話, kaze no denwa in Japanese. When asked for its purpose, Sasaki said "Because my thoughts couldn't be relayed over a regular phone line, I wanted them to be carried on the wind."

The following year, on March 11. 2011, there was an earthquake and tsunami in Tohoku. Japan. Within minutes 15 000+ people died, many were swept to the sea, never to be found. Sasaki then opened his ‘’Wind Phone’’ to the public, and since his phone received over 30 000 visitors.

‘’Wind phones’’ then started appearing all over the world. there are several thousands of them, usually located in parks, or near churches. Research is being conducted on the remarkable effect of those wind phones on grieving people’s mental, emotional, even physical health (all 3 categories are affected by grief).

Books have been published, and films have been made about ‘’Wind Phones’’, and their role in dealing with grief for a loved one.

Below is a painting of the first ‘’Wind Phone’’ in Japan.''

In our lives, experiencing grief is inevitable. If you love someone: a person, a pet, even if you're attached to a place or a thing, grief is on the horizon.

In a way, the thought of losing someone at some point, gives a deeper meaning and a sense of urgency to our relationships.

The most difficult part of mourning somebody, is the realization of the finality of the occurrence, no way for a chance to make the wrongs right, no possibility to say the things we withheld for years.

Much research is going on regarding the healing of people's sorrows due to unbearable grief, by using the ''Wind Phones''. They continue to appear in all corners of the world, You can find them near churches, in parks, even forests. I believe it is in the speaking out what we wanted to say earlier, but because of shyness, lack of bravery, or a myriad of other reasons that have to do with our ego or some social restrictions, we never got to say. Until now, when picking up the speaker of the ''Wind Phone''.

2 years ago, one of the greatest persons of my life passed. He was my mentor, a person of uncommon wisdom, compassion, and understanding. He lived a long life (~90 years) of making the world better, giving encouragement and hope to multitudes. To all who knew him, including myself, it was the greatest loss. He lived on another continent, so for over 30 years we kept in touch by writing letters. I still have the letters he sent me. I reread them with great respect, carefully, mindfully. He was such a deep thinker, that every word was written on purpose, no word was ever just to fill the space, and somehow in his writings he was able to convey the gentleness of his spirit, which is still perceivable after all those years.

I could compare the reading of his letters to talking on a wind phone. Each letter gives me a feeling of peace, and also a realization what a great honor it was to know such a wonderful person.