7 Ridiculously Useless Yet Mindlessly Entertaining Facts

Are you nervous because you don't know what to say to your friends at the party? Or perhaps you aren't sure what to talk about on a first date. Do you wish you could say something that will drive conversation or pique the curiosity of your party guests? Well friends, I believe I have the answer to all your prayers.

Whether dinner is finished, the party has just started... or maybe you're standing in line at the movies or a concert...Or a stranger is trying to strike up conversation at the local supermarket. Wherever you may find yourself, here are seven really super useless facts that are sure to spice up any conversation, and make you the life of the party:

1. "W" Does Not Need Itself to Spell Itself

Sure, a case can be made for "C" and "Y", but there are versions where they can be used in their names. There are zero, zip, nada, exactly none ways to spell "Double U" using a "W". Deal with it.

2. You Are Living in the Past and You Can't Help It

There's a glitch in the matrix, and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. Your brain requires at least 13 milliseconds to process the information sent to it by your visual senses. This means everything you are seeing happened before you realized you were seeing it. Next time your Zen friend tells you to "just live in the moment, man", tell him it is physiologically impossible.

3. It's Mean to Call Somebody Nice

"You should go out with him. He's a nice guy!" How many times have you heard that? Well, your friend is advocating for you to date an idiot. Nice comes to English by way of Old English by way of French by way of Latin. The Latin word "nescius", from which "nice" is derived, meant "Ignorant". In Old English, Nice meant "Stupid". I guess nice guys probably should finish last.

4. Your Boogers Are Full of Protein

But this doesn't mean you should eat them. Not only is that like super disgusting, it's also dangerous. We use proteins to fight off germs, and that's why you have all that gooey, drippy, snot in your face. It catches the bad guys before they can make you sick. Then they dry up into little green balls. But, if you eat those, you're eating all the germs they caught too. So, just get a tissue.

5. No, That Frog's Arse is Not Water Tight

Our little green friends have skin that is water permeable (I know some are not green). This means that H2O will pass through any part of their skin, including their bottoms. It actually serves to keep them hydrated. We drink our water, they soak it up through their butts. To each their own...

6. Sloths Don't Fart

Sloths are slow at everything. Everybody knows this. But they are also painfully slow at digesting their meals. It takes so long that any gas built up in their gutty wutts eventually passes through their intestines, and makes its way to their blood. Then they breathe it out. Yuk. Breathmint?

7. Your Moustache is Costing Thousands of Dollars

You look hip. The girls dig you. But is it worth it? Your mature moustache is robbing you. The glass got emptied, but 30 milliliters of your favorite beer ended up in the fuzz growing between your nose and upper lip. If you had a friend who always intentionally spilled over 10% of his beer on the ground, would you not try to get him some help? Seriously, God bless the people at Whisker Dam (google it).

Well, there you have it. I've given you enough to keep you going for a few weeks. There's plenty more where these came from, so check back soon for even more ridiculously useless facts.