50 Things to Make You Think...

Sometimes in life, people will say something that will make you stop and think. These are my favourites, that I've heard over the years. I've pondered them all quite a lot.

1) If love is blind... how comes there's love at first sight?

2) They never actually said that Humpty Dumpty was an egg...

3) When lightning strikes the sea, why don't all the fish die?

4) Can you be a closet claustrophobic?

5) Buildings burn up as they burn down

6) What was the best thing before sliced bread?

7) We eat Pizza from the inside out.

8) The word 'ambiguous' only has one meaning.

9) How do vampires always look so neat and tidy if they can’t see themselves in the mirror?

10) Your stomach thinks all potatoes are mashed.

11) If you actually did something "like a boss," you'd probably have just payed someone else to do it.

12) Nothing is on fire, but fire is on things.

13) If you woke up earlier at the weekend, you'd actually get 5 days worth of lie-ins during the week.

14) Tesla is best known for being unknown.

15) There should be a reality show where flat-earthers have to find the edge of the world.

16) Our hands have fingertips, but our toes don’t have toetips. Yet we can tiptoe...

17) Smart phones are probably responsible for reducing graffiti in public toilets.

18) Your future self is talking shit about you.

19) It's not fair that coffee stains your teeth brown, but milk doesn't stain them white.

20) Witches have black cats because if they had white cats they would have white cat hair all over their clothes.

21) Bean bags are just boneless sofas.

22) Social anxiety is basically Conspiracy Theories about yourself.

23) 8 hours of drinking is binge drinking, 8 hours of TV is binge watching, 8 hours of sleep is barely enough.

24) Maybe dogs bring home sticks because that was bred into them over millennia of humans needing wood for fires.

25) Your belly button is just your old mouth.

26) Drinking water with a minty mouth is the cold version of spicy.

27) Watching a graduation ceremony is like sitting through a movie that's entirely end credits.

28) If the thumb is not a finger, then there is no middle finger.

29) The Wizard of Oz was many people's first exposure to a colour film. Decades later, it's many people's first exposure to a black and white film.

30) Being shot with an arrow is basically being long-distance stabbed.

31) The E's in pee/bee are silent.

32) People that wait until they’re married to have sex only have sex with people in their family.

33) Since your internal voice doesn’t have to breath, you can scream internally forever.

34) Plants need water and sunlight. Water is blue. Sunlight is yellow. Blue and Yellow make Green. Plants are green.

35) You will meet a lot of guys named Christian. But you'll never meet anyone called Muslim, Jewish or Buddhist.

36) Two babies born at the same time, but on different sides of the world, have different birthdays.

37) Toothpaste companies should make a drowsy toothpaste, so when you brush your teeth at night, it helps you sleep.

38) If you discreetly blew a dog whistle in a public park, you could cause utter chaos and no one would have any idea what was happening.

39) Have you ever had the same £5 note twice?

40) Pictures are always square or rectangular, but camera lenses are round.

41) 100 years ago, everyone owned horses and only the rich owned cars. Now, everyone owns a car and only the rich own horses.

42) You're dead longer than you're alive.

43) Is time only a concept made by humans? Is it something we restrict ourselves with?

44) Physically, people are 50% legs.

45) You're just a diluted version of your parents. Almost like them, but not fully them.

46) People who are 6' tall, are only 6 Subways long.

47) When you clean out a vacuum cleaner. you become a vacuum cleaner.

48) If the oldest living human is 117 years old, that means, that 118 years ago, there were an entirely different set of humans on this Earth.

49) When we hear 'the twenties', we think of the 1920s. However, the next generation will consider the twenties as 2020-2029.

50) Hieroglyphics are basically old school Emojis