5 Ways To Rebuild Your Confidence After Grief & Loss

Loss of Identity After Someone We Love Dies

Grief may be debilitating. It might feel as if your world is coming to an end when you lose someone close to you. For good reason, too: you need to accept the fact that that individual will no longer be a part of your life. It's completely incapacitating in more ways than one. In truth, most individuals are unaware of how grieving might undermine one's capacity to trust in themselves. Secondary losses are the losses that occur after a loved one has died.

We as a culture are prone to focusing on a person's death. Grief, on the other hand, is a natural reaction to any loss. Secondary losses, such as breakups, financial stability, friendship, health, or a dream that was never achieved, are rarely spoken. Graduating from high school might also be a source of sadness.

Grief is an unavoidable part of life. For the rest of our lives, we will grieve in some way. It's something you have to get used to. Take care of your physical and mental well-being now so you'll be ready for anything life throws at you. You will eventually pick up the pieces and resume your life.

Knowing if you're suffering from sorrow or depression is crucial to your rehabilitation. Face-to-face assistance is critical for your recovery. When we are traumatized, our viewpoint shifts and our sense of security is jeopardized. Because death and loss are beyond our control, we feel helpless to change our circumstances, which has an influence on how we think, see ourselves, and conduct relationships.

Humans are social and relational beings, and our identities are formed through our interactions with others. We lose our role in a relationship when someone dear to us passes away. Even if the relationship and affection for that person remains after they've passed away, the nature of that function is eternally altered.

The Hole In Your Heart

When a loved one dies, you lose a lot more than just them. You lose a part of yourself, a sliver of your personality. We constantly identify ourselves via how we engage with others and the shared experiences we have with those closest to us, and when one of those individuals leaves your life, your identity suffers along with everything else. It takes a long time to heal the harm done to your mind, self-identity, and self-confidence.

While most people believe the first year of grieving is the most difficult, the second year is frequently the most difficult for your personal rehabilitation. It's easy to forget about a loved one who has passed away; seeing or hearing anything that reminds you of them might send you reeling when you realize you won't be able to share it with them. And what about the agony and suffering you've learnt to tolerate simply to get by? It can show up again when you least expect it.

5 Steps To Recovery: The Art Of The Poker Face

So, after such a traumatic loss, how can you put your life back together? There's no magic recipe; a large part of the process is figuring out how to cope with your grief. The only fact is that it will take time, maybe years, for you to be able to think about your loved one without immediately sinking into the lowest depths of misery. Even when you feel like you're falling apart at the seams inside, you simply have to put on a brave face and pretend you've got it together.

It's a "baby steps" strategy in this scenario. At first, finding a few moments during the day when you can operate without breaking down in tears feels like a win. Then it goes up to hours. You could soon find yourself incapable of doing anything except mourning for nearly a whole day. When you can think about your dead loved one without breaking down in tears, you'll know you're on the mend.

1. Allow Yourself To Feel The Pain

Recognize your suffering. The sooner you allow yourself to experience it and process it, the sooner you can get back to living your life. It will recur if you ignore the pain by self-medicating with drugs or alcohol, or by taking on extra assignments at work, delaying your recovery.

Worse, because stress affects the immune system, the grief you bury inside will surface as a physical sickness.

• Grief: Weakens the lung
• Stress: Weakens the heart and brain
• Worry: Weakens the stomach
• Anger: Weakens the liver
• Fear: Weakens the kidney

2. Practice Self-Compassion

When you're mourning, self-compassion is essential. Some people feel better after a few weeks or months, while others require years. The healing process is influenced by a variety of circumstances, including personality traits, social support, and how a loved one dies away.

The pain of losing someone you care about never goes away completely, but when it interferes with your daily routine and threatens your relationships, you may be suffering from complex grieving.

Excessive anger or bitterness over your loss, denial that your loved one is gone, fantasizing that your loved one is alive, or a persistent sensation of emptiness and sorrow are all symptoms of difficult grieving.

Talk to a mental health professional immediately away if you're experiencing these symptoms.

It's critical to practice patience with oneself. Allow your sadness to emerge in its own time. But try your best to maintain control over what you can, such as your thoughts and actions. Determine what gives your life significance, and then take steps every day to create those moments.

3. Acceptance Doesn’t Mean Goodbye

Accepting your loss is a crucial step toward recovery. Birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, and other important days serve as reminders of loved ones who have passed away. A memory can even be triggered by food. Some days you relish and indulge in those recollections. It can be debilitating on other days.

Congratulations if you've made it this far in your bereavement. You're now prepared to engage in some Jedi mind tricks.

There will be days when getting out of bed is difficult. Finding the strength to even act normal may feel hard, yet you have a job deadline to fulfill, or perhaps it's your turn to drive the kids to school. Whatever the situation, set aside some time for a good weep. It may be five minutes in the morning or twenty minutes before bedtime (depending how much time you need). Allow yourself to feel the discomfort without passing judgment...then exhale.

Speak with your deceased loved one. Make meditation a part of your daily practice since it helps you to reconnect with loved ones.

Take each step one at a time. You'll look back one day and realize how far you've come.

4. Learn To Rest

You must trust that things will improve. It's simpler to keep oneself occupied than to sit and think. As a result, make excellent sleep hygiene a habit. It's critical for recovery. Sleep and mental health are intertwined, and a lack of sleep can have a negative impact on mood and judgment.

Apart from the psychological repercussions, sleep deprivation has been linked to a range of health hazards, including obesity, cardiovascular disease, and diabetes, according to research. If you don't get enough sleep, you won't have the stamina to 'act' as if everything is well. Developing appropriate sleeping patterns will enhance your overall quality of life, allowing you to grieve with strength.

5. Make Time For Joy

What were your favorite activities as a kid? Maintaining your sense of wonder as a youngster will take you back to your genuine self. You could even discover happiness on your journey. Nothing makes me happier than simple pleasures like as watching seagulls soar at the beach or waiting for the morning.

These small joys are tiny blessings that remind us that life is intended to be pleasant, whether it's being funny with your kids just to hear them laugh or shopping for flowers at an open air market. Try to recall what it was like to be awestruck by the small things in your adult life.

If you seek for it, every day is a gift. The importance of perspective cannot be overstated.

Thanks for reading! If you liked the article, please subscribe to me.