15 Things Introverts Can Teach Extroverts About Happiness.

Introverts get a bad rap. They're often labeled "shy," "insecure," or "weird." But introversion isn't a flaw; it's an essential dimension of personality that can make you -- and your relationships -- more happy. Introverts can teach extroverts about happiness and how to be more effective communicators. Read on if you want to learn some things introverts know about happiness that extroverts might not!

1. Be Aware of Your Energy Level

Yes, we all have energetic highs and lows over the course of the day. But for introverts, this can be especially pronounced. Unlike extroverts, who get revved up by people and activities, introverts need to expend energy to interact with the world around them. So if you're interacting with an extrovert, chances are you'll be more drained than them at the end of the day.

That doesn't mean that introverts can't enjoy going out or attending parties; it just means that they have to pay attention to their energy level and when they need time alone after such an outing.

2. Take a Moment Before You Speak

Too often we go from one activity to another without giving our brains a moment to catch up. But introverts often do better with a little pause -- because it gives them an opportunity to collect their thoughts.

In her book Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life Is Your Hidden Strength , author Laurie Helgoe writes about the "deepener," an idea developed by psychotherapist Mary Burmeister. It's a simple technique that involves taking a moment before you speak to reflect on what you're going to say. It may not make you eloquent, but it will help you communicate more effectively (even in social situations). This "deepener" is particularly useful if you're nervous or trying to decide how much information to share.

3. Be Accountable

In her book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking , Susan Cain writes about the difference between accountability partners and accountability conversations. An accountability partner is someone who holds you accountable for your actions (like a gym buddy). An accountability conversation is when two people discuss something they're working on and how they can help each other.

Introverts, according to Helgoe, are very good at having these kinds of conversations (as opposed to an extrovert, who might prefer to have an accountability partner). If you're an introvert, find an extroverted friend who can be your accountability partner and discuss how you both can help each other achieve your goals.

4. Practice Empathy

Because introverts are more empathetic than extroverts, they are better at building relationships and inspiring others. In his book Quiet Influence: The Introvert's Guide to Making a Difference , Jonathan Rauch writes about introverts preferring to create an honest relationship with someone, without first sizing him up or seeing what he can do for them (as many extroverts tend to do). In contrast, extroverts are superficial and more interested in getting to know someone on an immediate, superficial level.

5. Focus on What You Enjoy

Another reason introverts can teach others about happiness is that they tend to be more focused on what's important and enjoyable in their own lives. Rauch mentions an introverted friend who was always bringing up topics that she was passionate about, even in the middle of a conversation -- and this made her seem more confident and genuine. In contrast, extroverts may focus mainly on what other people think about them; they might not think as much about themselves or their goals.

While extroverts can learn to be more thoughtful and focused in order to become more productive, introverts can also show them how to let go and have fun. When you feel that phone vibrate in your pocket, don't immediately think something terrible has happened; instead, give yourself a few moments to see who it is and what they have to say. After all, it might be an old friend coming back into your life or someone who wants to tell you something interesting.

6. Be Assertive (Not Aggressive)

One of the biggest differences between introverts and extroverts is that introverts are assertive while extroverts are aggressive. Assertiveness involves standing up for yourself and saying what you want, while aggression involves putting other people down and taking whatever you want. In Quiet Influence: The Introvert's Guide to Making a Difference , Jonathan Rauch writes that, "Introverts are not doormats." They are quiet but aren't afraid to share their opinions (even in large, intimidating groups).

Extroverts can learn from introverts by taking the time to think before they act -- and by being more mindful of their own behavior.

7. Be Mindful of Emotions

Introverts are very good at reading people and noticing emotions in others. They are also very good at reflecting on their own emotions. In her book Quiet Influence: The Introvert's Guide to Making a Difference , Jonathan Rauch writes about how introverts are naturally aware of their own emotions, which means they can be more authentically themselves in any situation. If you're an introvert, don't be afraid to let your emotions show! Extroverts might often see it as a sign of weakness, but to people who know and love you, it will simply come across as genuine.

8. Take It Slow

The key to becoming more productive as an introvert is to take your time and make sure you're doing things at the right pace. Rauch mentions an introvert who was taking on too many tasks in his classes, but by slowing down and taking smaller, more careful steps, he felt more satisfied with his work. Another way of thinking about this is that it's better to work in small bursts rather than working on some big project all at once (which can leave you feeling like you accomplished nothing). By making sure that you take your time, you're more likely to actually accomplish what you set out to do.

9. Have Real Conversations

To be more productive, introverts can learn from extroverts by having real conversations with each other -- rather than just small talk. Small talk makes you feel closer to someone, but it doesn't really help you connect on a deeper level. In her TED Talk, "The Power of Introverts," author Susan Cain says that the key to a better relationship is to actually get to know someone and have real conversations with him or her. This can help both introverts and extroverts connect in a more meaningful way.

10. Learn to Set Boundaries

As Introverts, you are more likely than the average person to have social anxiety. Introverts can learn from extroverts by learning how to set boundaries and say no. People who have social anxiety may tell themselves that they're too shy or sensitive to say yes, but this is simply not true. Introverts need boundaries because they feel a lot safer when they know when and how to end a conversation or interaction (and extroverts need boundaries too). It will feel more natural to extroverts, who are usually more confident and outgoing, to be assertive and say no when they want to.

11. Prioritize Mindfulness

It's important to honor your introverted side as an extrovert because chances are you already inhabit both aspects of this personality type. For example, it helps if you practice mindfulness in everyday life -- that is, staying present and aware of what's happening around you at any given moment. This doesn't mean ignoring the demands of your work or other obligations -- it means approaching each task with full awareness and a sense of calmness.

12. Don't Become Too Self-Conscious

The key to becoming more productive is to simply be yourself. If you're an extrovert, no one expects you to change and become more introverted. This is just not something that can happen. What can happen is that you learn to be happier in your own skin and become the best version of yourself possible. If you're an introvert, don't try to force yourself into these loud and outgoing situations that have always made you feel uncomfortable -- instead, find ways to be social while still staying true to who you are on the inside. Just take a deep breath, pause for a moment and then join in with whatever's going on around you in your own way.

13. Get Creative

Introverts are highly creative people, which is one of the reasons why they make such good writers, artists and designers. Many introverts also happen to be skilled listeners and can be very supportive friends or partners when it comes to helping others work through a problem they're having. If you're an introvert, use these strengths to help you become more productive at work or home. If you notice that you're feeling stuck on a certain project, take a break and do something else for a while. Find the quiet space within yourself to really think about what your next steps should be in order to achieve whatever it is you're working toward. Not sure where to begin? Try starting with this list of what productivity really means to different people.

14. Take a Walk

When you're feeling stressed, take a walk instead of resorting to your phone or a big glass of wine. Exercising can end up being far more productive than anything else you could be doing right now, especially if you're also listening to music and just focusing on the rhythm of your own body as you move through the world. Not sure if walking is your thing? Try something new and different until you find something that feels good enough that it becomes part of your routine -- this might be yoga or hiking, depending on how much time or effort you want to put into it. You can also try boosting your energy with a walk in nature, which has been shown to have calming effects.

15. Respect Your Own Rules

As an introvert, you may be perfectly happy working on a project by yourself, or maybe you prefer to work in small groups. If you're an extrovert, you might feel more comfortable working alongside other people -- but that's something that works for you and not everyone else. Introverts will want to remember to respect their own flow of creative energy and make sure they get enough time and space to do any writing or thinking they want to do.

Finally

Being an introvert doesn't mean you're weak or even less productive than extroverts. Introverted personalities are just as likely to be highly creative, successful and happy people as their extroverted counterparts. It's just that the way they process things isn't always the same as that of other people. All it takes is some good old-fashioned knowledge, a little mindfulness and some willingness to respect one another's differences in order for everyone to take pride in their personality type and become more productive in life.