10 Lifehacks for Shy People

Being shy isn't easy, especially if you have a tendency of not knowing what to say. I ought to know, because I'm one of the most socially awkward people I know. I don't really have an easy time connecting with people naturally, so over the years, I managed to train myself to become more social.

As I worked to get better at understanding people, I started to figure out my own set of tricks and tips to help bond with someone faster. My collection of lifehacks for shy people grew pretty quickly, but not all of my tips were very easy to work with.

Are you looking to break out of your shell? Just want more friends? Date that person? Take that trip? Apply for that job? Using tips and tricks for the painfully shy are sure to get you there.

Carry around a pack of cigarettes and a lighter.

Back when I was in college, this was one of the easiest ways to make friends. Though smoking isn't good for you and is a terrible habit, it can be a great social lubricant for people who are very shy.

While I don't suggest smoking, keeping a pack on you gives you a reason to talk to people. When you offer them a cigarette, smokers will usually start chatting with you about anything and everything. It's that simple.

When you meet someone new, assume that you're already going to be friends.

One of the best lifehacks for shy people that I've ever learned is to assume that things will go well. It sounds silly, it sounds foolish, but just trust me, it works. When you assume people are going to be your friend, they will follow your lead.

Vibes beget vibes. If you assume awkwardness, it's going to be awkward. If you assume good things will happen, then good things will happen.

If you're shy like me, then the biggest issue that you have when talking to people is a lack of confidence. It's hard to deal with insecurities when you're talking to new people, and if you're like me, you either get very quiet or you get very aggressive.

The best way to prevent this from happening is to talk yourself up before you talk to others. Talk about how much you love yourself, remind yourself of three things you like about yourself, and tell yourself that you got this.

I actually used to read self-esteem/self-help books to help with this. This is a great title, in my opinion, but looking into books and other practical guides to feigning confidence when you are shy will also work wonders.

Practice your small talk.

A good friend of mine once told me, "Never diss the weather. Without it, people wouldn't have anything to talk about."

What they were trying to say was right, to a point. Small talk, especially about things that everyone can talk about without issue, is a must. Small talk is actually one of the things that bonds people and allows people to feel comfortable with others.

One of the smarter lifehacks for shy people I've learned, as stupid as it sounds, is to practice your small talk at home. Literally, just rehearse it. Memorize topics, remind yourself to ask questions, and see how you look when you talk to people. It sounds ridiculous, but it will up your confidence game.

Go out to night clubs and practice your social skills there.

As much as I hate to say it, being shy means you need to get way more used to getting out of your comfort zone. Otherwise, you're going to be very lonely.

If you want to overcome being shy and gain social skills, the easiest way to do it is to join a nightclub scene. This is because it's a venue that's literally designed to be a place to make friends and party.

It's a place where you can chat with others, share drinks with strangers, and also just enjoy good music. If you're really nervous, you just have to remind yourself that you probably won't see any of the people you may have messed up with again.

In terms of a practice venue, you really can't get better.

Even if it seems inane, learn to enjoy small talk.

A lot of shy people tend to avoid situations which involve small talk, simply because they don't feel like it's important. Here's the problem: Small talk is crucial to getting people to bond with you.

Without small talk, you come across as someone who doesn't want to be around people. Or worse, it puts an emotional distance between you and others.

If you're at a party, the easiest way to become social is to be a party caretaker.

You know what the role of a party caretaker is? It's the person who makes sure that everyone has drinks, everyone is doing well, and that people who drank too much have someone to rush them to the bathroom.

It seems like a lame role, and to a point, it is, but you know what? Everyone appreciates a party caretaker, and it will often result in success for shy people, allowing you to get close to people when they really need you.

Trust your gut instinct when you're dealing with people you can't get a beat on.

Did you ever meet someone who gave you a funky feeling, even if you don't have a particular reason for it? Though I'm all for meeting new friends, I'm also a huge advocate of trusting your instincts when it comes to people.

Do you have an urge to try and make small talk by telling someone something? Go for it. Do you get the feeling that the people that you're dealing with aren't particularly good? Then you might want to trust that gut, too.

Remember that everyone has their own issues.

You know, you can read all the tips and tricks out there, and it won't do any good if you can't bring your confidence up. Let me clue you in on something that's actually really useful for your confidence levels and everything else.

Everyone has something they're insecure about.

Some are insecure about their looks. Others worry about people hating them. Even more might be concerned about their careers. You're not alone in this, and realizing that can help you do amazing things.

Search for events that pique your interest.

One of the better lifehacks for shy people, at least when it comes to making friends, is to find people who have similar interests. When you both have similar interests, it becomes way easier to find out topics to discuss.

With similar interests, you will often find a way to have an instant connection with people. The best part about this? Anything that comes to mind will be perfectly natural, and before it, you may be walking away with a phone number of somebody willing to hang out with you again some other time.