Why It's Okay to Hate Your Job

The Current Global Work Crisis

In 2019, Gallup identified that 85% of Americans were unhappy in their job (and this was pre-pandemic times - yikes).

Now, the pandemic has only illuminated just how increasingly unhappy people have become. As millions of workers across the world migrated to working from home, a new phenomenon has arisen known as "The Great Resignation".

As of 2021, approximately 45% of working individuals are thinking about quitting their jobs and 38% of workers are aiming to call it quits at their current job within the next six months. You may want to call this bluff, but you'd lose, as over 4,000,000 Americans already handed in their notice during April 2021 alone (Source: BBC).

Employee dissatisfaction is sadly nothing new. In current times, maybe it's due to remote working which has led workers to feel increasingly disconnected from their work and team. It could also be due to the mass lay-offs at the start of the pandemic which instilled a sense of disillusionment and distrust that anyone can be cut off at any time; that even a 9-5 at a prestigious company doesn't mean security anymore. Or, it could be the glaringly obvious reason that seeing the word "death" in every news headline for the past 18 months has forced us to take a good hard look in the mirror at our values, at our dreams, and come to the alarming realisation that our current jobs are falling dreadfully, disastrously short.

Whatever the impetus, people have had enough.

For those of us who very much relate to all of the above, but haven't quite had the balls to hand in our resignation and a big f*ck you to the boss, here's why it's actually okay and maybe a good thing to hate your job.

The Immediate Perk of Hating your Job

Hating your job sucks. I feel you. It makes you feel dead for 40+ hours a week and can leave you feeling so hopeless about other aspects of your life. But the one power that this palpable hatred has is that it forces you to think, and real hard at that.

I'm a firm believer that knowledge is power, and if not for the knowledge alone, for the fact that information can lead to better, more articulate thoughts and even action.

Indeed, extreme emotions can force us to think on our feet very quickly. You see, humans typically do not thrive living in ambivalence and so want to arrive at some actionable conclusion sooner rather than later, perhaps inducing some kind of bold Shia LaBeouf "JUST DO IT," moment.

However, I caveat the above with the fact that a bad situation can very much propel our already weary minds into total overdrive. Whilst I absolutely recognise and have experienced the downsides of these existential, often anxiety inducing thought spirals, I can't say that they're entirely useless. It's all about how you pivot those thoughts.

It's often said that positive thoughts spur on more positive thoughts and action. This is known as the positivity bias. On the other end of the spectrum, it's also said and warned that negative thoughts spur on more negative thoughts, known as the negativity bias.

But I'd like to add an extra nuance on the negativity part of this theory.

The Power of Negativity

Say you're a little bit unhappy at your job and the thought crosses your mind to quit and do something else. Maybe you'll toy with the idea of curiously browsing a few job openings or play with the idea of starting that YouTube channel you always dreamed of.

But "toying" and "playing" are fragile verbs and often times crumble at the feet of more adult, pragmatic, often self-defeating thoughts such as:

- "You can't do that. You have rent and bills to pay."

- "Don't be ridiculous, you've got no experience in that field. Much better the devil you know."

- "But your 7% raise (on top of an already meagre salary, and excluding the rising rate of inflation) is so generous!"

I'm not going to immediately slander these thoughts because they are, to a degree, valid. However, instead of seeing this negativity as a brick wall impeding you from making a difference to your situation, I would encourage you to realise its potential and power and think of it more as a Rubix cube - complicated, but ultimately solvable.

So, the power of negativity is that it presents you with a problem, or metaphorically put, a Rubix cube to solve.

Without further ado, below is my two-step guide to helping you solve your own Rubix cube:

Step 1: Unleash Your Inner Child

Isn't it fascinating how children see things at such face value and question everything down to its core? It's even more fascinating to think that whilst we develop our brains and skills as we age, we leave our childlike curiosity behind like a discarded Barbie doll in the attic. Yet in order to lead a more fulfilling adult life, it is that curious child we need to return to.

To exercise your inner child and re-orient your negative thoughts about your job, a simple exercise you can do right now is to begin thinking more curiously about your thoughts by adding a simple "but then...." to the end of each so that they turn into something more like -

- "You can't do that. You have rent and bills to pay. But then, what are the ways I could either generate more income or reduce my expenses?"

- "Don't be ridiculous, you've got no experience in that field. Much better the devil you know. But then, I can begin taking small concrete steps towards gaining that experience and making a career move."

- "But your 7% raise (on top an already meagre salary, and excluding the rising rate of inflation) is so generous! But then, it might be more affordable for me now to considering dropping down to 4 days a week and pursuing something I would prefer to do on my day off."

Whatever your "but then" is, say it with conviction and with pride. Be proud because it is your natural survival instinct kicking in telling you "HELLO? THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG HERE! ALARMS! FIX IT!" In an ironic way, it can be such a positive thing to feel so negatively because it's your body and mind's way of telling you that things need to change.

Where it gets dangerous is when your mind begins to shut down and enter apathy mode or emptiness mode. This is different to feeling unhappiness and/or hatred in whatever you're currently doing. Apathy is where I believe your mind has lived in ambivalence long enough and decides to just put you on autopilot until you're strong enough again. So, I would encourage that you take some form of action before you're permanently living in a state of apathy or un-feelingness.

Step 2: Bring Your Inner Child to the Table

If any of you watched Suits, you may remember a few instances where big time senior partner Harvey Specter wouldn't allow his junior associate Mike Ross a seat at the adult's table. No matter your thoughts on the show or Harvey, do not listen to him and bring your inner child to the table and sit them at the helm.

Now that you've begun thinking through your "but then" scenarios, it's time to put them into action. I challenge you to take just one of your "but then" ponderings and put it out into the universe to whoever you need that recipient to be.

In short, the second step is to ask.

For example, feeling increasingly weary and in a bad place from my job, I finally had the balls to call my manager and walk through what my options were.

I was terrified and I was nearly sick before the call, but before I knew it, I was dialling into one of the most nerve-wracking conversations I've ever had. I was open, but diplomatic about my situation and wanted to run through his thoughts and get some advice from him so that I could have a clear picture of my options going forward when deciding whether to stay or leave.

30 minutes later, we hung up the phone and I gotta say... that old proverb of "ask and ye shall receive" absolutely held true for me. I'm not saying that asking for everything you want is without its repercussions, but I encourage you to think of the worst case scenario and actually probe its probability. Again, take that negativity, harness it, be curious and do something.

For example, even if you do ask your boss to cut your hours like I did, what's the worst case scenario? Maybe you fear you'll be fired, maybe you fear that they'll know you're unhappy, and maybe they'll say no.

Okay, take that scenario and apply some basic logic:

1. They could fire me - well, depending on the employment law legislation in your country, that's illegal (in the UK).

2. They'll know I'm unhappy - yes, this can feel like your secret's out, but your employer is also under a duty of care; odds are, they'll actually respect you for advocating for yourself. Or at the very least, if you do quit it's hardly as if your boss will be shocked.

3. They could say no - see below point.

You may not get the answer you want, but a "no" is infinitely more useful than not knowing at all because it closes down that option in your mind. Odds are, you may feel so pissed off that your request for part-time got denied that you realise your only option is to leave and so you go on your merry quest to find something that will allow a more flexible working pattern.

But you only came to that conclusion because you actually asked and sought to know what your options were.

GREAT! See how that negativity turned into a question which turned into an answer which turned into a choice?

Final Thoughts

The above is by no means a comprehensive guide of what to do if you hate your job and I hope it is absolutely clear that I do not promote staying in a job that harms your mental health and soul.

However, I also feel a sense of duty not to just go and tell you to quit your job now. I've had that from people and I know how unhelpful it can be, as well as a logistical and financial nightmare to actually follow through with.

My hope is that this article inspires an element of hope and empowerment from the fact that your feelings can bring about something truly amazing and that you have the power to fight for yourself.

If through this all, you feel entirely overwhelmed and at rock bottom, I would firmly encourage that you speak to your GP or family doctor first because they can assess whether you are fit to work, assist you with finding the root cause of your current state and suggest an action plan to help get you back on your feet. In case it wasn't obvious already, I am by no means a professional, I'm just sharing what I know in the hope that it can help you.

Finally, you're worth more than spending your best years unfulfilled, overworked, underpaid and just plain unhappy. Advocate for yourself; I know I am.

Thank you very much for reading.