Why I'm writing on Vocal:

My name is Sam Desir-Spinelli, I'm a decrepit old fart living in a flimsy, deteriorating, 30 year old body.

I’m a big (overweight) foodie who loves foraging and outdoor cooking. I have a favorite tree, the Eastern Hemlock— here's a picture:

In the past I'd steep these needles to make a bomb-ass herbal tea. If you wanna try this out PLEASE make sure you get a positive ID, as the Yew is a poisonous look-alike that can grow in similar habitat.... see:

Though I’ve lost my sense of smell to covid, the Hemlock remains my favorite tree for old time's sake-- also I think it's very pretty.

I like music and I’m eternally jealous of the people who have the skill to create their own. I listen to the blues and grunge, and if I’ve had enough gin I’d even sing you some.

And this certainly wont shock anybody on Vocal, but I love reading. My favorite authors are Cormac McCarthy for his prose, Albert Camus for his philosophy, Stephen King for his characters, and Frederick Douglass for his courageously purposed writing.

(His works are in the public domain, and if you haven't read his autobiography "Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass: An American Slave" you absolutely should-- his writing has historic value of course, but many of his insights and criticisms are still relevant and applicable today. Here's a link his story in a digital format: https://www.gutenberg.org/files/23/23-h/23-h.htm)

A few months ago I noticed these favorites are all men, and mostly white... In fact most of the books I've ever read were written by white authors. So I’m making a deliberate effort to broaden my scope, to be more inclusive. I’m choosing to read authors from demographics that don't resemble my own.

So that's the stuff I'm into.

I’m also a dad. I’ve got three kids and I adore them.

Being that I'm white and my wife is black, our beautiful children are growing up within a cultural framework that’s often new to our individual experiences. I wish the world were a cleaner, safer place for them and for all of us, really.

But why am I writing on vocal?

Well, the shortest answer is: I saw their advertisement for the "Return of the Night Owl" writing contest on instagram, and thought: why the hell not?

But that answer is incomplete.

The contest snagged my interest, but the idea of finally sharing my writing is what really hooked me.

I've been writing selfishly for years, that is to say writing to introspect, to explore my personal beliefs and feelings. I've spent over a good month's worth of raw time putting down hundreds of thousands of words of my own.

But I've shared very little.

Partly due to the fear that I don't really have anything worth saying... and partly due to the fear that I have something worth saying, but lack the ability to say it without embarrassing myself.

I've often held back and each time I submit a story I still think: what if my writing is only good enough to fail?

Well, so what?

I think I've reached a point where I would rather write for an audience than for myself alone.

My hope is that some of these stories might be enjoyed…. And if not, perhaps I'll hear some harsh but valuable feedback!

Either way, they will have been worth sharing and that will be good enough for me.

Speaking of stories: the fiction you’ll find on my profile will be dark and vile, dealing with my own fears. Sometimes satirical, often absurdist, usually horror, and hopefully no more pleasant than an open leechfield.

I'm pretty jaded about the systems we currently live by, and you'll see social criticisms in my writing. But occasionally I still feel stupidly optimistic about humanity, and I will show that in at least a couple stories…. Eventually.

The greatest monster in my stories will be chance, and the second greatest will be a broken psyche.

That said, there is one planned departure from these wretched themes, and it’s already in the works: a biographical fiction, focusing on the counter-cultural life of Francis of Assisi. (For the uninitiated: he was a man who lived in medieval Italy. He famously rejected his own wealth and more or less became a leper. He’s also recognized as a saint by the Catholic Church and has been immortalized as a piece of garden statuary all across the world— you’ve probably seen the little guy cast in resin or concrete, holding a bird bath and surrounded by squirrels.)

The nonfiction you’ll find (like this story, ohhh so meta), will probably be casual and maybe even pleasant. I can see eventually writing about my favorite musicians, authors, restaurants, recipes, or hiking spots. And when I have the courage to go deep, I’ll write about my experiences as a white dad raising mixed kids in a world that doesn’t feel fair or right.

So that's about it as far as introductions go! Thanks for checking out my profile, I hope you'll find something here worth your time. I'll be posting new stories semi frequently, when my dad schedule and work schedules allow.

Until then, feel free to send me some honest feedback on what you read here, even if it's critical it is welcomed!

Thank you.

Oh!

If you wanna connect or share your thoughts on my writing, I'm active on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/samspinelli29/

And on reddit:https://www.reddit.com/user/tasteofhemlock

Lastly, you can find me on goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/73630803-sam-desir-spinelli