Why I'm Not "Going Home" For the Holidays

Roughly a year and a half ago, my husband and I moved from small-town Minnesota to Salt Lake City, UT with our 1 year old, a trailer at least 40% full of Star Wars memorabilia, and the fresh optimism that only two newlyweds facing a beautiful mountain range can possess.

The day before I left my family, friends, and hometown, I deleted the Facebook app from my phone. I struggle making friends, and I knew that I would only spend too much time bitterly longing for the community I'd left behind rather than investing in new friendships. I knew I'd just use the social media as an unhealthy, addictive crutch.

Another thing I chose to do was to not call MN "home" anymore. It seemed like an obvious decision -- after all, I was moving homes, wasn't I? But as time went on, I began to realize how difficult it was to change my language on this topic.

I didn't miss "home" I missed my family.

I wasn't going "home" for a trip, I was going to my parent's home.

I hadn't been a piano teacher "back home," I had been a piano teacher in Minnesota.

You might think it's just semantics, and that's okay. But for me, it was a conscious, uncomfortable decision I made every time I talked or thought about my past life in Minnesota.

So why did I keep making the effort?

Firstly, I wanted to give myself permission to call this place home.

We have no idea how long we're going to be living here, whether it's our forever home or just a pit-stop. And that state of not knowing, of continually clinging to the temporary, is poison to cultivating real, meaningful relationships.

One of the first things I did after I moved was to find a church and get connected in the small groups, events, and worship teams. I attended church picnics, signed up for Squads, and made an effort to introduce myself. I started saying "my church" and "my pastor."

I shifted my language to adapt to my circumstances before my feelings had even caught up to me.

By letting go of my "home" in Minnesota, it allowed me to accept the community and area I'd found here as my "home" faster and easier (in my opinion) than had I continued to use language that alienated myself from my current surroundings.

Secondly, I didn't want to undervalue my current community by over-idolizing the places I'd left behind.

This one is tough.

Obviously, my family is still my family and my childhood friends are still my friends. My "hometown" will always have a special place in my heart, along with the excessive lakes of Minnesota (seriously, it's a ridiculous amount of lakes compared to anywhere else, especially Utah).

My memories and past experiences are valuable and necessary to hold onto, but I don't want to elevate them to the detriment of new memories and experiences.

I don't want to hold back from making new friends because they couldn't possibly hold the same value for me as my existing friends. It's not fair to me, my long-distance friends, or my new friends.

I don't want to put my past life on such a pedestal that it leaves no room for enjoying my present life.

Whether I'm here for another 3 months or 3 decades, it's worth it to invest wholly into whatever community I build for myself.

Lastly, I wanted to whole-heartedly accept where God had placed me.

I don't know if moving to SLC was the "right" or "wrong" thing to do. Honestly, I think that's the wrong mindset to have.

What I do know is that no matter where I am, I can serve my God. I can use the gifts He's given me. I can love people around me. I can grow and learn and mature.

And I can fully step into the life He's given me with all praise and thankfulness for how He's provided in every area of need.

So, am I going home for the holidays?

No. Because my home is right here. I have my husband and child, my community, and my God. This is my home.

Here's to building a home wherever you are. It's worth it.