What Makes This Guy Worth 15%??

So, my thing about tipping goes back a long way. Some of the first tips I ever got were when I was a newspaper boy and after a long, hard year of giving up precious after-school video game and comic book time, Christmas came and it was time to tip the paperboy. I got a pile of money, mostly in $5 bills and it all seemed to make the sacrifices worth it. I took the money the newspaper company saved for me and blew most of it at a local roller rink on pop, chips and video games for me and for a guy who wasn't a friend for very much longer (when the money ran out). I gave the paper route to my brother who had even less interest in walking for miles each day for the hope of a couple of bucks per house every two weeks, and I let the newspaper people deal with it. The next time I got tips was when I worked as a pizza delivery person. It was killer. My boss paid me the princely sum of $5.50 an hour and each time I took out a pizza, I got a great tip. No tip, no gas money. No tip, no lunch out the next day. In a way the job was a circle of slavery to me. I worked so hard to save and save then learned all I could about cars and went out and bought an old junker. I loved every minute of driving it but everything from gas to insurance was so expensive. So I got a job delivering pizza but the problem was I drove so much that I got sick of driving, it wore me out. And the extra money always seemed to find some place to go.

Seeing my sister do so well, I once dreamed of getting a job as a waiter in a busy restaurant. I finally had my chance at a famous little spot in Edmonton called "The Silk Hat." The trouble was they wanted me for my body mostly. Mainly, they needed someone large, fit and tall to scare off the troublemakers that came around and ditched the place before paying their bill. I went as hard and as fast as I could, but kept making mistakes. Somehow I was supposed to know what to do instinctively. At the end of one hour, the boss handed me a $5 bill and said they wouldn't be needing me any longer. So much for my career.

When I really started to understand about tipping was when I was older and became more able to eat at fancy restaurants. Some of these waitresses I met were bombshells and how can a single young male help but try and make a gorgeous young woman smile with a decent tip? There are really so many reasons to tip, and even reasons to tip when you get bad service. Being someone who always wants to give a little to homeless or hungry people, sometimes it seemed unfair that so many people will give a waitress $10 so she can go drinking or play a video lottery gambling machine after work, while they will coldly pass by someone who needs $2 more to buy a sandwich just to not be hungry for a few hours. Tipping to me is an obligation, perhaps not from some polyanna idea of fairness, but it is an act of sharing, an act of love in a way. I give to waiters and waitresses as well as people in need on the street, but for different reasons. One is that I live in a bit of a rough neighborhood, and if I come across someone who is truly in need, I may go as far as to take them to my house and give them things they need. One time I met a guy who was healthy and mentally okay but had only one shoe. I took him to my home and gave him a pair of work boots and all of a sudden he was a contributing member of society. It's rare when a situation like that comes along. I can think of one time I gave to a person down on their luck out of pure selfishness. I had been struggling with a gambling addiction years ago and went to the casino. No matter what I did, this addiction seemed to keep getting me down. I walked from the casino downtown and a long-haired, leather-jacket wearing young man came up and basically begged me for 30 or 40 cents. I gave him $20 and he nearly shrieked. To me that was the one way I could remember any good from that dark time in my life.

There was this other time I was the designated driver and a couple of friends wanted to go to a local pool hall. One of these friends, the owner of the fancy new car I drove for him, was a bit of a cheapskate, and the other was the kind of guy who hits on every woman he can see despite that none of them take interest in him. They sat drinking beers all night, running a tab, and then when it came time to pay the guy with the car offered a 25 cent tip. I thought I was going to die of embarrasment, but it got even worse when the other guy started asking her when she works next. It is so amazing the kind of clowns people turn into with a little beer. She was visibly upset, livid. She said, "This doesn't even cover the cost of me serving you guys!" she might have been in a situation where she had to tip the other staff as well. I gave her a $5 bill and slinked out of there, never to return.

Now there is something I try not to let bother me, but since he has retired, I guess I can share the story. I had a friend who had cook training, he would be a chef if he ran a restaurant. I had another friend, a bit of a mouthy Italian guy who my cook friend hated with a passion. The Italian used to go to where the cook worked and get lasagna or pizza or anything with a lot of pasta and tomato sauce on it. My cook friend told me years later that he would hock up and spit in the guy's food, then send the waitress out to ask him how he liked it as he devoured the delicious fare. He said, "never f&%k with a cook." But to me it also comes down to human decency. I don't think I could ever live as a person of a higher social class than others in the same country, I have put too many hours in washing dishes, cleaning tables, lifting and loading. When I eat fast food, I clear my table, recycle when possible, and always thank the servers. When I eat out I stack up the plates of my own table for ease when the server wants to remove them. And I tip. It's not always a lot, but there is always something. If I can't afford a tip, I will explain and apologize, and I have never gotten bad feelings back. One of the things that really gets me is that a waitress at a diner a friend and I go to all the time used to be a medical student, actually, she was top of her class but had to drop out because she experienced debilitating anxiety, and now waitressing is all she can manage. I feel a certain responsibility to help when I can, and I always treat her and her co-workers with respect. There is also a Chinese Wonton House I used to go to all the time and I loved the soup and would tip accordingly. I must have had it 100 times with a friend that lived nearby. One day another friend from out of town came by and we went to this place and a beautiful Chinese waitress came by and made such a big deal out of seeing me which earned me a lot of street cred from my friend. Kindness begets kindness. I try in many different ways to tip everyone. One time a man who lives downstairs from me asked if I had food to spare and I emptied my freezer into his. After a few other favours, I know that if anything goes sour (as things often do) in the building or the neighborhood, he will stand by me and it feels good.

Well, dear readers, I have rambled on long and far from what I tried to originally say. If you have read this from the beginning and got this far into my long-winded speech, I commend you. I would also like to ask if you would consider giving me a tip for my effort to enlighten and entertain. I will take anything from $1 and up, and if I can raise $10 I will know that my efforts here have not been wasted. At the moment I am contributing to a blog and making videos and teaching and doing all kinds of stuff, so I really have to earn something from my efforts to be able to continue with them. If you like what you have read, please do leave a token of your appreciation for me, and contact me to let me know what topics you would like me to write about in the future. Thanks so much, and a Happy New Year to All!