Turning the page

"Turning the Page" – a metaphor I hear often.

Is turning the page letting go? Or forgetting?

What is it really?

A few days ago, I was thinking about that guy I find hard to forget. I asked myself, "Why am I thinking about him again? Haven’t I already turned the page?" And then I didn’t know how to answer myself. Was it an obsession... or maybe just boredom? However, I don’t think about him enough to say I’m obsessed, but I also don’t let him go enough to say I’ve forgotten him. So I asked myself the question: "What does it mean to let go?"

Since I was little, I was told that when something doesn’t work out the first time, I should keep trying. Every day, I see women of all ages trying to achieve something that didn’t work out on the first try—whether it’s their eyeliner or the man who doesn’t know what he wants.

At some point, we’ve all been that friend who gives advice without understanding why her friend won’t leave the guy who doesn’t love her. Until you become that girl, and you don’t know why you can’t just move on.

Are we really that dramatic, or are they simply too indifferent? I think it’s a bit of both. I still cling to the idea (though at this point, it's a fantasy) that men are actually very complex beings who just don’t know how to control their lack of tact. Of course, being attached doesn’t depend on sex, gender, or preference.

Do we stay out of comfort or peace?

I’ve seen that guy obsessed with another guy who doesn’t know what he wants, that girl who doesn’t understand why he won’t introduce her to his friends, that nurse who won’t leave her husband despite everything, that guy who can’t choose between one or the other, and that girl who doesn’t understand why she can’t stop thinking about her "friend." All of them are thinking about something that won’t let them rest. But what is peace if not being with that person somewhere other than just in your thoughts?

So, do we hold on out of love?

At this point, I think we’ve all lost the meaning of the word love. Social media fuels a massive flood of idealized relationships, taking things twenty steps further than a ‘90s rom-com. Maybe you wouldn’t be thinking about your ex if your For You Page hadn’t shown you a video with a sad love song and the copy-paste text: "What if everything had been different?" We’re just as easily influenced as any child without parental supervision.

Turning the page has become harder than reading the page.

Are you afraid to turn the page in case one day it decides it could contain something interesting and not just be a blank sheet?

"People simply don’t know how to let go."

I think it’s even harder when you’re not leaving something behind, but rather something that could have belonged to the future. It’s hard to look into the eyes of the person you once imagined at your wedding and realize you won’t even make it to an official relationship. It’s hard to let go when you thought you’d never have to.

So, is turning the page forgetting? No, turning the page is not forgetting. It’s accepting that there is no way for it to be anything more than a memory, one that will remain stored until it becomes no more interesting than a filler subject in school.

Do you stop caring? Yes, sooner or later, everything stops feeling so important.

Don't worry so much about not turning the page fast.