Things never happen the same way twice

The lingering sensation between the moment you are awake and about to wake up. The moment you know something is about to happen before it actually happens. What is called? Intuition, in a way, I think?

Magnificent, how our humanly brain, works in the most fascinating way possible. The three pound little thing is as soft as butter, apparently. Capable of creating the most craziest, wildest things possible in the entire universe. There’s no doubt about it; of all the things human kind has achieved till date. I choose to highlight here both the incredible and the dumbest things possible. No shame in admitting. We are only humans, bound to make twice the mistakes before actually doing the right thing.

If that is intuition, then what is the term for doing something you know you should not be doing it but you do it anyway. Procrastination? That would be the opposite I suppose.

“I will not sit on my sofa and binge watch a show on Netflix.”

“I will send in that email today anyhow.”

“I will not be talking-all-weird when my friend come over for dinner.”

“I will keep calm and not lose my cool when my friend keeps mentioning the “off-limits-topic”.”

BAM!

The high-walled flood gate is pushed open. Without no sense of any active defense mechanism in place.

I am certain it takes immense courage, bravery and a large amount of calmness to keep your heart in check and let your mind and heart walk hand in hand, together in any given situation. Sure, different opinions for different scenarios. I honestly believe that it is a true life skill.

To be honest and open, I have lost it. There is nothing there. No calmness, no kindness, no warmth. All I feel I am left with is 24/7 anger, zero control, constant feeling of judgemental eyes around me. It is truly difficult to say it out loud - “I am not worth it.”

The moment I hear myself say it out loud or even in my head or interpret from someone else's take on things about me, my vision begins to get all blurry in an instant and tears starts to roll down my cheek. Even this very second. Had I been writing in a piece of parchment, it would most certainly be all soggy and damp like the letter, Harry and Ron received from Hagrid confirming about the execution of Buckbeak.

With all the emotions we end up feeling in these situations, I think at some point in our life we were destined to go through all of them. I do not really believe on the fact - “Whatever happens, happens for the good.” However, I like this one quote - “Things never happen the same way twice.” - Aslan from Narnia. If you think about it that quote applies both on the positive and negative aspects in our lives. There are bad times and there are good times and then bad and again good. There is a lesson to learn in everything we do. It all depends on us how we choose to act on it.

The storm shall pass. Because - "Things we lose has a way of coming back to us if not always in the way we expect." - Luna Lovegood.