They sent my “We regret to inform you…” email a little too late.

A week into my new job, I got a text message from my recruiter saying that it was my last day and to pack up my office.

My body felt as if it had been swallowed whole by a snake. I couldn’t move, and suddenly all the air in my chest disappeared, and all I had left in me was tears. I held my chest as I stared at the clock and realized I still had an hour left of the workday. Which is crazy to think about because before I got that text, I realized I had finally gotten over my hunger. You see—I did not eat that entire day. I used my last dollar to get to a job that had decided my fate in little over a week.

In the middle of my obvious panic attack, I realized I had not finished the message from my recruiter. So despite my tears and aching chest—I picked up my phone.

“Hey Selaiha…. today is your last day. Please leave the laptop and your badge on the desk. They said you weren’t strong enough for the role… I’m sorry this was cut short. Hopefully we can find something else soon.”

In that moment my despair turned into rage. Not strong enough for the role? What the hell does that even mean? Most people would have just read that message and tried to move on. I couldn’t do that because not only was that reasoning complete and utter bullshit—it was unfair. I don’t mean that in a bratty way either, I mean actually unfair and unethical, to be honest. Not only did I spend money I could have used for rent or food to get to this job—I didn’t even meet both supervisors.

During my one week there, I had only met one supervisor, and the other was doing God knows what. So it was odd to me that they BOTH thought I wasn’t “strong” enough for the role. The other one I probably met once or twice before she skipped off to work remotely, something she claimed she “hated”… right. They both left a new hire alone in an empty office. Due to it being a summer semester, the office was basically a ghost town.

I managed, though, despite having ZERO training and ZERO support. I managed to get my task done on time and taught myself everything within three days. Lucky for me it was just emailing students and copying and pasting on Google Sheets. I also occasionally restocked the pantry and stapled exams for professors. Once again—I’m failing to see my error.

I even asked if everything was done correctly—I got positive feedback each and every time. Every time I was asked if I completed a task, it was already done, and the response from my higher-ups was “Looks good! Thanks!”

That’s not something you say to someone who was failing miserably.

So as I stared at my recruiter’s message, I struggled to understand how I wasn’t “strong enough.”

I actually think the opposite, I managed to do everything those pretentious professors asked me to do and got positive feedback—while being hungry, tired, and still worried about my rent. I quickly had to realize no matter how wrong I knew they were, nothing about the outcome would change. I can tell you what did change, though—my stability.

In this climate we’re in, job loss is incredibly life-changing. Getting the next big thing can take months, sometimes even years. Despite that fact, sometimes the people who employ us dispose of us without question. So those of you who sometimes rush to work without a dollar to your name or barely anything to eat; take an extra five minutes to go back to lunch. If you’re a little late—fuck it. If you need a day off—take it. Employers can quickly decide our fate without any remorse—so why should we have remorse for choosing ourselves?