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The Twisted Tale of a Wilted White Rose.

Chapter Two: Beauty Beheld by Thorns.

By Jed KimaniPublished 3 months ago ā€¢ 3 min read
5
The Twisted Tale of a Wilted White Rose.
Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

I thought I had finally seen it. The end, to all the pressures of existence. Fitting in. I realized something in these few reflective moments of life, that I should have a long time ago. That maybe fitting in wasn't ever an option for those born to stand out. I, however felt it new, this whole new atmosphere of possibilities, opportunities to be me, however, my esteem hadn't yet recovered from the years I was wrapped in self-contempt.

I saw eyes everywhere, making me too self-conscious of any flaw I had beheld at the time. Maybe, on the way to school with Aida and Hail having conversation. I'd see people passing us by taking imploring glances at each of us, or me. Often, I'd check my outfit, my face and overall look to see if anything on me sought attention. And it got uncomfortable. I got tired of it all.

Though, as I was reflecting, and seeing all whom I was becoming, looking over some events would be foolish. The time I had offered a helping hand to my friend and classmate, who at the time, had an unwell hand. I was carrying her seat and mine into class, but it became a moment of sheer embarrassment. The class made fun. The lecturer made fun. Laughs filled the air as everyone caught on probably the most interesting thing, they bore witness to that afternoon.

I, undoubtedly, should have been embarrassed, or taken aback by all the attention that I had unwillingly drawn. I did not remember being embarrassed, or the slightest feeling of it. But as the lecture went on, I couldn't help myself laugh at the whole situation. Looking over to Lucy, I laughed a little more. This was, I knew, going to stick in her head for the longest time. I felt joyous. It was her I was extending the gesture to.

And I appreciate that, I had pulled though the whole show to the end. Those that mattered to me had to know they did. This person I was becoming for my friends and family grew more attractive after passing days. I couldn't help fall in love with this person deeper than I ever previously perceived. I enjoyed that my company was priceless, my speech hypnotic, my voice infinite and my being enigmatic. That was me. That was who I had buried under a long time ago. And the fact that I loved and felt the love back, was my nirvana. Seeing that smile on my mother's face, or hearing her hearty laughter, would bring home to my heart in an instant.

Reconnecting with my sister, who had become strange and foreign to me rekindled a flame that had dimmed over the years. Savoring over every second spent with my family showed me how beautiful love could be, showed me that I could love, and be loved. And this was my breaking point. Enough to all the voices that got me to 'I can't' 'I am not'. All those people that had made me put a price on my worth, no. I was done.

I had found love where it was all along. I felt at home, and at rest. It was like I was running all my life, voices always keeping me up, telling me I should give up would haunt me. Constantly, I had felt homesick while at 'home'. I had lost control over what I felt anymore. I had lacked definition of what life had become. But I finally put my foot down. All roads would have led here, this place, home.

This feeling that I belonged as I was, was my solace. I knew a lot would come and go, but this felt like it would last forever. My baggage was long overdue, and I deserved to rest. And I found beauty in the concept of family. And my friends were family too. It was breathtaking. This feeling would have felt warmer. This was it. My peace. I had zoned out.

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About the Creator

Jed Kimani

Taking note of the reflective moments in life. When the walls of reality melt down and the essence of time fades away. And all that's left is you and your mind space. I jolt what's in the mind space of my reality.

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Comments (2)

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  • TafariišŸŒµ3 months ago

    Love this! Keep up G

  • BEER BRAND3 months ago

    nice bro... im ur subscriber.. now

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