The Subconscious Storymaker

I always knew I was different. Whether it was characteristics outlined by others or those I saw internally within myself - the parts of me that were individualistic to me were always openly on show for the world to see. However there was one piece that until recently was something only I knew about myself - my ability to create. Empathy was something I always felt. The ability to put myself in others shoes - feel what they were feeling as if their story or life experiences were a part of my own. Even if it was only for a few minutes, those short conversations I shared with strangers about their lives held the power to reconstruct the way I viewed life for the rest of that day, week or even month. I guess that is the power of words you never know what might move you. At first, that ability came with a lot of weight, often too much and that heavily impacted my mood during the day. At any given point the metaphorical graph representing the strength of my soul could dip. The only thing that came with that though was the immeasurable sense of humanity. Something which I witnessed being lost every day in the world. Having this weird relationship with people, with stories - when times got tough, provided the perfect distraction, allowing me to temporarily detach myself from my issues and view the situation as if it was just another story falling upon my ears. The entire time repeating to myself “this would make a great story someday”. Now older, the path before me has never been clearer. They say you have two options: either make the thing you love your work, or work to earn and keep the thing you love as your hobby, and do it everyday so you never fall out of love with it. For me, putting the stories I conjured for many years finally onto paper in the form of stories is that love. The thought that all my expericences can become a learning, stepping stone for others, the lessons that were never thought and can only be learnt through the hardest of experiences. All the conversations of the mind that I weren’t able to speak out loud and probably never will. what I would like to be followed for is my perspective. An embodiment of the quote “nobody is me and that is my power”. Based on the thought that what I have to say, the words I will utilise will be different to any way others may put it because my eyes are my own and thus my thoughts are something only I can have. While people may think alike, where those thoughts come from come from, the context behind them, the lessons and experiences pushing these opinion will always be different. It is for that reason that my passion lies in writing. To create a body of work that not only illustrates my life, all I have been through in the short time I have lived but also conveys it in such a way that puts forth a hope evoking story based on love, optimism and perseverance. To collect all the scenarios and stories I have made up in my mind and create a novel that ties them together, providing the perfect seal for me to put it all behind me, on the corner of some back shelf in my mind - only to be visited for the sake of seeing my growth. When I think of my ideal outcome, the only image that comes to mind is a small cottage in the middle of no where, surrounded by countryside, maybe a small town nearby where everybody knows everybody, a proper community - where I could just peacefully write and find new ways to fall in love with life everyday.