The life I’ve lived

In 2007 my little sister lilie-mae, was born, she was born with claw fingers , she had 6 toes on one foot and 4 on the other and was missing some fingers , although she had to deal with that she was the most beautiful and most caring little girl in the world.

My mum made the decision to give her an operation so she didn’t get bullied when she finally went to school, my mum did this in her best interest,

This ended up in lilie having to have a full cast on her hand and covering her fingers,

As months went on we noticed she wasn’t well so my mum took her to see the doctor, who said it was ‘just a cold, babies get them’ my mum felt so embarrassed.

That night I was admitted to hospital due to the fact I had an absist growing inside my armpit, they were considering an operation.

Suddenly at 5 o’clock in the morning I’m woken by my mum telling me ‘lilies passed away, my baby is gone’

I didn’t want to belive it so I told my mum to stop telling silly jokes and go to sleep,

Within 10 minutes it hit me and it hit me like a ton of bricks I was crushed but my mum was even more crushed.

I could only imagine what my dad had gone through, she passed away in his arms!

As days, weeks and months went on we got closer as a family,

Except my dad though alcohol was his only friend and the only thing he could rely on , there were times I would see him sat on the floor in the rain from being to staggered to even walk, I felt like it was me Ryan, my brother and Shannon, my sister who had to hold the fort for my mum, in 2009 I went down the very slippery slope of depression I tried to hang myself, and to this day I will always thankyou my auntie and my mum for coming and taking that rope from my neck other wise I may not be here today.

Ryan my younger brother is autistic has adhd and suffers from Tourette’s but that has never stopped him doing what he loves, he travels to away football games and has even traveled abroad by himself to watch the football in Germany.

My sister Shannon and I, had always been close

Until about a year ago when we decided to go our desperate ways, she knows if she needs me I’ve got her and viser

Versa.

When I was 12 I was introduced to the world of scrap metal recycling, I went and earned money everyday with my dads friend and I loved it, untill he rented what he called ‘a unit for work’ we went there to go and collect some wire he had left there and all of sudden I felt his hand slowly rub my thigh and reach up between my legs I felt distraught I felt scared I felt I couldn’t tell anybody because he said if I did ‘no one would believe me’ so I just kept quiet hoping the feeling would go, but unfortunately it never did it was horrible keeping that secret on top of others he had told me, i let him abuse me for 5 years and that’s 5 years of my life I will never get back.