The Heat of Honesty

Malaysia expects electricity demand to continue rising as hotter weather increases the need for air-conditioning and cooling, according to Economy Minister Akmal Nasrullah Mohd Nasir. With El Niño persisting into 2027 and data centers accounting for an increasing share of consumption, the nation faces a dual challenge: adding supply while managing demand through efficiency and conservation. The peak electricity demand is projected to rise to 33.5GW by 2035, a significant jump from the 21.3GW expected in 2026. This infrastructural pressure mirrors a profound psychological reality: as we heal, the "heat" of our emotions rises, and the demand for internal cooling through truth, transparency, and self-regulation increases exponentially.

For years, I lived in a state of emotional suppression. I kept my trauma, my guilt, and my autism hidden behind thick walls of persona and performance. It was like living in a house with no ventilation, trying to keep the temperature down by simply ignoring the sun. But heat doesn’t disappear when you close your eyes. It builds. It presses against the windows. It strains the wiring. And eventually, the system fails.

The warning from CIMB Securities about El Niño putting pressure on the power system is a stark reminder that external conditions matter. My "El Niño" was the combination of childhood abuse, bullying, and the arrogance that led me to end a nine-year relationship. These were the hot, dry conditions that dried up my empathy and strained my integrity. I tried to manage the pressure by lying, by coordinating secrets, by trading with family funds without permission. I was trying to add "supply" through control, but I was failing to manage the "demand" of my own conscience.

Minister Akmal notes that data centers could account for 31% of Peninsular Malaysia’s electricity demand by 2035. Data centers are places where information is stored, processed, and cooled. They require massive amounts of energy to keep the servers from overheating. My mind has become my own data center. For years, it was filled with corrupted files lies, NDAs, and false narratives. Keeping those files running required immense energy. I was constantly "cooling" my secrets, constantly working to maintain the false temperature of my life. It was unsustainable. It was inefficient. And it was leaving me with no power for anything else.

The solution, as Akmal suggests, is not just to add more supply, but to manage consumption through efficiency and conservation. In my life, this means stopping the waste of energy on lies. It means conserving my emotional resources by being honest. It means upgrading my internal grid the way I process trauma, the way I connect with others, the way I view myself to be more sustainable.

I used to think that healing meant adding more defenses. More armor. More excuses. But now I realize that healing is about efficiency. It’s about letting the heat out. It’s about opening the windows and letting the truth circulate. It’s about acknowledging that the weather is hot, that the climate is changing, and that I need to adapt my systems to survive it.

The projection of 33.5GW by 2035 is daunting, but it is also a call to action. It requires continuous upgrades over the next five to ten years. Similarly, my healing is not a one-time event. It is a decade-long project of infrastructure improvement. I must upgrade my communication skills. I must reinforce my boundaries. I must install new "cooling systems" of therapy, meditation, and genuine connection.

CIMB noted that 37% of treated water is lost through non-revenue water. This is a loss of resources due to leaks and inefficiency. I have lost so much of my life to "non-revenue" emotions guilt that didn’t lead to change, shame that didn’t lead to humility, fear that didn’t lead to caution. I was leaking my potential. I was wasting my water.

But now, I am fixing the leaks. I am sealing the cracks. I am directing my flow toward what matters: my family, my truth, my future.

The heat is still there. The El Niño of my past still lingers. But I am no longer afraid of the temperature. I have upgraded my systems. I am managing my demand. And I am ready to handle the load.

Because a system that can withstand the heat is a system that can sustain the light. And I am finally ready to shine.