Ten things – unrelated to work – that I am handing over to my H.R. coordinator when I leave next month.

This post started off with a working title along the lines of “Suggestions on how to hand over a job” but a little more than a hundred words into writing it, I read the paragraph back to myself and it felt like watching paint dry.

1. My orange Le Creuset coffee mug.

Ah, this mug has been through the wars. It has been dropped from shoulder height, kicked, and abandoned all over the hotel, but has somehow survived unchipped, unscathed and has always found its way back to my desk. It feels only right that it remains in the H.R. office, and would probably outlast the whole building in same way cockroaches and Twinkies are said to be able to survive nuclear war.

2. One orange Lego cufflink.

Not everything on the list will be orange, but it is my favourite colour, a fact well-known to my team when they bought me an orange Lego storage box and matching cufflinks for a birthday present. Sadly, at some point, one of the cufflinks went missing. I will take one with me and leave the errant one hidden in the office, optimistic that it will someday be found. My H.R. coördinator has strict instructions that when – not if – this day comes, she will forward it to me. Maybe with my P45, to save on postage.

3. My rubber band ball.

I started this in 2018 to collect the rubber bands that tagged my dry-cleaned shirts together as they hung in the laundry room, ready for me to collect each Monday morning. It is now roughly the size of a cricket ball and, like a proud father, I have enjoyed seeing my elasticised baby grow over the years. In the age of furlough and working from home its growth has slowed in recent years. This, and my fear that my other baby, my cat Oscar, will destroy the ball, means that I feel that it is better for the rubber band ball to not come home with me, instead to remain at work for others to nurture.

4. Forty sharpies.

Technically not mine to give away as they were bought using the office’s stationary budget, the Sharpies have lived on my desk, with my coördinator’s blessing, as she knows how much I love to write “thank you” notes in all the colours of the rainbow. They will move back to her side of the office once I have left, even though I know she will only use the grey, black and green ones.

5. A couple of Lego figures.

Most of the Lego in my office has been repatriated back to my apartment, much to the annoyance of my partner, who tries to move the sets and fill the space with plants. Reflecting on conflict management training, I have sought out ‘win-win’ in this battle of the shelves and will therefore take two Lego figures back to work and donate them to my office. I do not know which ones yet, but I do feel that both Lego Emmet and Lego Celebration Cake Man would both make fine recruits. My partner would prefer that I donate my 1:8 scale (orange) Lego Porsche 911 GT3 RS, but, well, no.

6. A carrot cake.

I moved out of my D.H.R. office in autumn last year, deciding that it would be nicer to spend time in the main office, especially as the hotel is quieter and it did not seem right to be stuck behind more walls than necessary. My coördinator did not believe I would remain out there, betting me a freshly baked carrot cake that I would abandon the main office within the year. It was all going swimmingly until I resigned. Consequently, my coördinator wins by default on 12th March 2021 and, having never baked a carrot cake before, I need to start searching recipes.

7. A magnetic whiteboard and a collection of magnets.

Located in the now disused D.H.R. office, this whiteboard served as a visual but supplementary ‘to do’ list. It was last updated in March 2020, with a list of outstanding tasks regarding an upcoming associate boat party. Obviously, this boat party never happened, but I have left it on the whiteboard in the hope that sooner rather than later, my successor can make this boat party come to life. The magnets are useful, as they can be arranged into face shapes and arrows. For creativity’s sake.

8. A million coat hangers.

As I cleaned out my office, these started to pop out from everywhere – under the desk, behind the cupboard, and even a few wedged behind the aforementioned whiteboard. Luckily, a favourite training energiser of mine is getting the room to come up with as many uses for a coat hanger as possible. My coördinator, having been on the receiving end of this activity more than once, is the perfect person to receive the coat hanger bounty.

9. The Miley Cyrus ‘Wrecking Bauble’.

This has followed me around for many years, even to Dubai, where it (she?) became a little lost in translation but nevertheless a popular addition to the office each December. I wish I had a photo of it, but alas I have been working from home this week. For imagination’s sake, it is basically a festive diorama of Miss Cyrus from her “Wrecking Ball” music video, but with a green bauble in place of the demolition too. It is affixed to the ceiling of the office with tinsel. Christmas does not officially begin until Miley is in situ.

10. Teabags.

Lots of tea bags. I love tea, but more often than not, gravitated back to the comforting kick of coffee for my post-lunch beverage. Consequently, there are umpteen boxes of teabags in my office. All kinds of flavours, but mostly peppermint and zero English Breakfast (yuk). I will entrust them to my coördinator; hopefully, she has more willpower than me. Tea does not expire, does it?

Leaving a job requires us to leave more than a load of job aids and Outlook reminders. There is a more useful post to follow about this, but I will work on it in my own time and get back to you later. In the meantime, I have a carrot cake to bake.