Systemic

Early morning rolls round again,leaving me feeling exhausted,near the end of my tether. Waking up is supposed to feel like you are refreshed,the nightmares and the pain make me feel like I've never experienced sleep in the first place.

Over the years my body has changed,where once it used to take part in athletics,dancing the night away and working 70+ hour weeks,now, well it's riddled with pain,feeling like an inflated lead balloon.

A once sharp mind able to make quick calculations and diagnose situations to build resolutions,now is sluggish and as slow to start as an old volvo with a shot starter motor.

Age creeps up on us all in one way or another and the world continues to turn with or without your input. Societal changes become confusing and you find yourself saying things you used to hear your grandparents say,things like I never remember the world being so cruel, when I was a kid it was never like that! In the interest of saving your own mentality you go back to the narrow world you grew up in,the news gets turned off, I don't even know if they print newspapers anymore but if they do I'm sure that they go unread as nothing but discord and misery is shared on a global level. Everyday good deeds and minor miracles from humanity become so few and far between that when they do happen they become a media frenzy for those involved before being shelved in an algorithm on facebook memories just waiting to pop up and remind you four years after the fact. All while globally there are people that are having their rights stripped away from them by systemic power plays across every governing body. There isn't a place in the world you can go to that is inhabited that doesn't have the law of the land, things put in place to protect the greater good, then there are the minutia laws that are meant to appease the politically correct or the the religiously enlightened. A governing body of five per cent of the country that control eveything from what you wear to where you can travel and what you can say. Each governing body replaced in turn with a new one voted in that over promises and under delivers. Freedom of speech comes with conditions so that others aren't offended by how or what you say,pretty soon the world will fall silent but for now it is sceaming for change, just not the change that these visionaries as they call themselves have in mind. Collectively voices cry out for the governing bodies to change and are met with harsher restrictions put in to place to silence the voices. Neighbours turn against neighbours because of their religious beliefs or their financial status,basic things like healthcare become negotiable based on what you can offer the system if you are treated. That word in itself being a torch on the healthcare system,like we are four year olds waiting for an ice cream,instead of having life changing proceedures that could improve your quality of life.

Sytemic....A word that is grossely under used unless their is a racial or sectarian angle applied.

I've seen people raise thousands to save an animal in other country,yet they cross the road or spit when they homeless people sat in shop doorways. I've experienced the prejudice that goes hand in hand with being a differently abled person that "Doesn't look sick!" as a white women I have even experienced racial abuse for having mixed race children all whilst being told it isn't possible to be racist gainst soeone with my skin colour,but I've had it from both sides of the coin.

Living in this world today I've realized that as much as age may creep on you and your health may deteriorate, eventually the thing that will destroy your soul more than anything is society