Stuck in the Quagmire

Stuck in the Quagmire

You can get yourself out.

We’ve all been there, likely more than once. There we are, stuck, struggling to get our footing back, but the more we struggle, the more we sink. Maybe a day, a week, a month. Sometimes many months. We need some clarity, a moment to breathe, then we can find our way out.

Like Robert Frost said:

"The best way out is always through."

Also, a sentiment made clear in his poem “Servant of Servants” with the line:

“If you go through the process, you will find your way out. “

That’s another good way of putting it.

Here’s one process to consider for overcoming the feeling of being stuck. It works for me, anyway.

First, determine the issue.

This may take time. It can’t be forced. It has a way of making itself known when you’re ready to hear it. At least, in my experience.

For months, I had been feeling creatively and energetically drained. I didn’t really know why until finally it hit me like a head slap, while lying in my bed, wide awake at 5 am. It was a “duh!” moment.

I knew this particular issue was bothering me, as every time it would come up, I would speak negatively, my heartbeat would go up, and I would see nothing but red. When the same issue keeps cropping up for me, I know I need to deal with it. Just sometimes, I don’t know how to deal with it, so in this case, I kept getting angry and brushing it off to the side. The negative feelings kept me stuck until I figured out what needed to be addressed. That automatic response of negativity or anger often blocks the clearest resolution. It’s a destructive cycle that only seems to propagate the bothersome issue.

Next, write a letter.

This letter is only for you. It most likely should never be shared or sent. Write it as clearly, harshly, and honestly as you can. In my case, I didn’t even finish the current letter. I proceeded to address the first two issues that were disturbing me most, then I stopped because I understood what I was feeling and what I had to do. That letter shall never see the light of day.

Third, think about the options.

Take a walk, drink a cup of coffee, do whatever inspires you to think in a relaxed state of mind. Ask yourself then: How will it affect me? How will it impact others? What do I want to happen?

Keep an open mind. Be realistic. By realistic, I don’t mean limiting your goals, I mean being honest with yourself about your own expectations and downfalls in the matter. No one else can read your mind, only you can see what’s happening in there. May as well tell yourself the truth.

Fourth, make a plan.

Write it down. When you write plans down, thoughts become more concrete. Actions more viable. And you can proceed with clarity. Be detailed. Put your plan into action with determination, not anger. Remember the desired outcome. If it’s not going that way, then re-evaluate, but first, give it a chance. You chose a path with intent. Trust it.

Finally, let it go.

Let go of those feelings of negativity or uneasiness that keep surfacing. Move forward with other things, other projects. Follow your plan to deal with the issue, but at this point, you shouldn’t have to think about it anymore.

Breathe.

Thank you for reading! What is your best option for dealing with issues that make you feel stuck?