Shaped by Choice or Circumstance?

The debate of whether we are who we want to be (shaped by choice) or whether we are who we’re made to be (shaped by circumstance) has been my reflection point for the past few weeks.

There is undeniably a mould that which a person should fit in within society in order to achieve acceptance; whether this be a belief held by a social construct such as women being expected to behave in a certain way that is different to men or whether this mould be a limitation imposed by peers that sets a boundary in what you can or can’t achieve. The idea of a mould is an external force acting on one’s own belief system which would suggest that we are who we’re made to be, we are shaped by our circumstances.

However, I am convinced there is a relationship between choice and circumstance. It could be argued that we are made to be who we want to be; in other words, we are first built on circumstance and shaped by choice. Similar to the idea of becoming what you want so you can attract who you are or the power habituation has on moulding our future and purpose. This relationship accepts that there is the ability to change what you are dissatisfied with which creates a more appreciative and holistic viewpoint on identity and how that changes. I also believe identity is meant to change as we experience life- we are a mosaic of our life thus far.

Personally, I find this belief that we are made to be who we want to be almost comforting because as humans, we like routine it brings great comfort and stability in a frightening world and change disrupts this comfort. Being first built on circumstance and shaped by choice allows for the use of free will to avoid stagnation and it’s far worse to find yourself in the same place as you were last year than to have made some sort of progress no matter how big or small. So, focus on the little wins and watch how that leads you to becoming who you want to be.

Thought points:

• How can you develop your current routine/habits to become who you want to be?

• “People do not decide their futures, they decide their habits and their habits decide their futures.” -F.M Alexander

• We don’t see things as they are.We see them as we are.

Remember to show yourself some love this week!

Originally published on Medium: [https://medium.com/@silver_22_69206/shaped-by-choice-or-circumstance-4542af8fbc22]

This is a repost with permission from the original author (me).