Self Acceptance vs Self Esteem

Self-esteem is an evergreen hot topic. It is seen as one of the most important things to have and something that everyone should strive for.

There are countless books, videos, and courses to build healthy self-esteem. It's even taught in schools and shared about on social media.

But what does self-esteem really mean, and is it really healthy? What if self-esteem isn't all it's cracked up to be? What if it's actually doing more harm than good?

There are a lot of people who would say that self-esteem is overrated. And I'm here to talk about how self-acceptance is a better solution than self-esteem.

As you keep reading, you'll see how self-esteem is actually a slippery slope that can quickly turn into chronic stress. And how self-acceptance leads to contentment and an empowered life.

What is self-esteem, and why does it fall short?

Self-esteem is the opinion you have of yourself. It's how much you value and respect yourself.

People with high self-esteem think they're awesome, and people with low self-esteem think they're worthless. It's a pretty simple concept, but it can have a big impact on your life.

If you've looked at the meaning of self-esteem carefully, you'll realize that there's a fundamentally problematic meaning within it: your value as a person can change.

And in society, this value changes based on how you look, what your background and education are, who you're married to, and how much money you make. And it depends on how you feel.

In short, when your personal and professional situation changes - your perception of your value changes. Or you rate yourself based on how good or bad you feel today.

But feelings and our situations in life change all the time! So our self-esteem is constantly changing. And that's not stable or healthy.

What is self-acceptance, and why you should embrace it

Self-acceptance is substantially different from self-esteem. From the very term, you understand that self-acceptance is not about giving yourself a rating. Or trying to find value based on accomplishments, appearances, or your income.

It's simple: accept yourself exactly the way you are no matter the situation. No matter how positive or negative you feel or whether you got that promotion or not, you simply acknowledge where you are.

In other words, you live very deeply in the present. You don't look back at the past and wish things were different. Nor do you tell yourself that you'll feel good tomorrow when you build your business or find a loving partner.

What self-acceptance is not

The concept of self-acceptance is new to many. And many people don't like the idea of it because it implies that you have to be satisfied with what you don't like in life. That you shouldn't make changes or strive to improve. But that's not what self-acceptance is really about.

Self-acceptance is not the same as resignation. It's not about giving up or being content with mediocrity.

It's not about being lazy or refusing to change your life. It doesn't mean that you're happy with everything in your life.

Self-acceptance is simply about not judging yourself harshly and recognizing that you're doing the best you can with what you have.

And here's the kicker - when you develop self-acceptance, you're in a better state of mind to create change. Whereas, when you strive to feel good about yourself, you're working on the premise that things are bad. And from that mindset, it's hard work to make positive and permanent changes.

The benefits of self-acceptance over self-esteem

There are many benefits that come with self-acceptance. When you make the shift from viewing your value as conditional to viewing it as unchangeable, you open yourself up to a world of possibilities.

Here are some of the benefits:

1. You're no longer a slave to your emotions or your circumstances

2. You have more energy and motivation to make changes

3. You're more likely to make positive and lasting changes

4. You're more resilient and adaptable

5. You're kinder and more compassionate to yourself

6. You're less likely to experience anxiety and depression

7. You're more likely to be satisfied with your life

8. You're more likely to have fulfilling and successful relationships

9. You're more likely to be successful in your pursuits

And the list goes on.

The bottom line is that self-acceptance sets you free. It allows you to be who you are without judgment. And from that place, you can create the life you want.

How to develop self-acceptance

The good news is that self-acceptance is a skill that you can learn. And like any skill, it takes practice.

Here are some tips to help you get started:

1. Become aware of your negative self-talk

2. Acknowledge your thoughts and feelings without judgment

3. Practice self-compassion

4. Don't strive for perfection

5. Take breaks and relax

6. Don't compare yourself to others

Developing self-acceptance takes time. But once you get the hang of it, you'll be less likely to spiral into periods of low self-esteem or into the toxic highs or high self-esteem.

Conclusion

Self-acceptance helps us gain something that isn't valued enough in life: contentment and peace of mind.

It allows us to accept ourselves for who we are, no matter the situation. And from that place, we're better able to create lasting and positive new thoughts and behaviors that keep us resilient. And strangely enough, when we gain balance and self-respect through self-acceptance, everything soars. We become more productive, creative, and giving - improving lives for ourselves and everyone around us.