Ruth K's Musings and Madness Blog: Vol. V

Forgive me readers, for I have sinned, it's been 5 months since my last blog post. I said I would be doing this with a modicum of regularity, and then promptly fell off the face of the digital earth for a nice hibernation.

I mean, I wish it was as relaxing as a hibernation.

Actually, no, I take that back. While trying times abound, these last 5 months have hosted remarkable major life moments that I never would have dreamed of--reality is so much stranger, and so much sweeter, than fiction. Not only that, but in the day to day monochromality of routine work and life, I have been putting forth some herculean efforts to adhere to a routine that makes me a better me. Changing up the palate to make polychromy the norm (one of those efforts has consisted of audiobooks on color theory, chemistry, and history, so...). I've been working on one month progress markers for building said routine. Upholding that consistency means selectively integrating new things one at a time, and thus, leaving other things for a later month. Like writing this blog. I'll admit, this past month has seen a slip in that progress. Don't get me wrong, I am still streets ahead from where I was, but there's a long way to go to maintaining certain lifestyle habits. It's very easy to lose a routine. Even easier to justify the loss. So instead of admitting defeat and touting failure, I am chosing to look at the month of October as a month of respite, grace, and humility. I am humbled by myself and my life all the time. I think more than a few of you would agree.

But enough routine, let's get to the good stuff. Most of you already know, many of you were there; I got married. Married, as in papers signed, vows exchanged, toasts said, happy tears shed, till death do us part for better or worse in sickness and health you may now kiss the bride MARRIED. Every day I look at the love of my life, someone I thought had slipped through my fingers, and just drink in the fact that he is my husband, this is our real life, and I will do anything in this world to make our marriage healthy, long-lasting, and beautiful for the rest of our lives. I am so loved. I have so much love for him. I haven't written about him here much, if at all. The truth is it has always been terrifying to me, setting in stone in some way the reality of happiness. But he deserves this moment. This is the best decision I have ever made.

Oh, and I get to do it again, but that's a horse of a different color.

Married life does, in fact, treat a person differently. Not just because my taxes said so, or my peers say so, but because married life itself says so. Yes, the bulk of things never change. However, the air around you does. I wish I knew how to explain that. At the moment, I don't think I can really, mostly because the true marker, to me, in the air, is the change in the perception of time. Disagreements are settled over a matter of weeks, and differences met and understood over years. Connections are built nights at a time, in steps, in normality, and in unconventional incremental markers. For example, did anyone happen to catch that "streets ahead" reference up top? It comes from the early 2000s sitcom Community, a show I sit down to watch 1-2 episodes at a time of with my husband, nightly. Maybe you're married, or in a long-term partnership. In fact I know many of you are, and for far longer than I have been. Am I explaining it right? Do you see it, too?

Anyhow, much more concretely in my married life, I've been accepted into the fold of a loving new family. Y'all, I have amazing in-laws. In August I spent nearly the entire month bonding with them in Brazil. While coworkers asked about my trip with hopes of worldly tales and otherworldly beauty, the memories closest to my heart are the ones made in quiet moments with family. Getting my nails done with my mother-in-law, frolicking in a river with my sister-in-law, and drinking a (non-alcoholic, let's not be crazy) beer with my father-in-law. I met friends I had only heard stories about, went to the mall, drank absurdly good coffee, did (watched, like a coward I'm sorry) karaoke and an escape room, and cooked for 14 people with so much love and joy. And, last but certainly not least, I spent glorious days in the regal presence of Ploy, meu precioso, the silliest pup a girl could love. He and I have matching sunglasses now. We are bonded for life. I'll have some photos of the whole thing in the folder linked below, as I do. At some point, hopefully around the holidays, I will have time to sit down and really flesh out my trip, and maybe write a few semi-coherent sentences about thoughts and feelings in the face of yet another unreal reality check. For serious, loves, this life suffers not for want or lack of the fantastic, but for the blindness to it until it's passed.

Lord that was corny. I stand by it.

I picked the blog back up at the request of my grandmother. For her, I will write this blog even if no one else reads it. With her encouragement, I will not be giving this up. The hibernations will happen. I won't pretend to be someone above the rat race exhaustion or the demotivation in busy times, but I will keep writing. Time after time. Cheers, y'all, with love.

https://photos.app.goo.gl/viJJTDaWKc8YwaHR8