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Rise Of The Armpit Man

The Surprising Retail Trend You've Never Heard Of

By Jade M.Published 3 years ago 3 min read
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Photo Credit: Alex Andrews

If you’re a woman who works retail, you probably know the armpit man. He may go by another name at your job, like the foot man, the panty man, or something else entirely. It doesn’t matter what you call him, because each type of this man functions the same. He’s a creepy man that calls the (mostly female-driven) business you work at and asks you questions that make you uncomfortable. These questions are usually about you personally. Examples of these questions are ‘Do you shave your armpits?’ or ‘Do your feet sweat when you try on shoes?’. He always starts out the conversation normally enough, pretending to ask about the company’s stock or services offered, but it doesn’t take long before he reveals his true nature and the real reason behind his phone call.

My first encounter with a man like him was a secondhand one. I was working in the footwear department of a high-end retailer, and one of my coworkers answered the phone. About a minute into the conversation, she put the man on hold and went to get the manager. Apparently, the man on the other end of the line was asking her questions about her own experience trying on shoes and he ended up creeping her out. I remember the manager running to the phone, only to discover that the man had already ended the call. He then told us that we don’t have to stay on the phone with someone asking questions like the man ones the man was asking.

I recently had my own experience with this vile breed of man. I had just finished a transaction when the phone rang. The man on the other end of the phone promptly asked me if we waxed armpits. I assumed he was asking whether we waxed armpits for the benefit of his wife, so I answered him politely. A normal customer would have allowed me to end the conversation after that. He didn’t. Instead, he asked me if I enjoyed waxing my armpits as a woman. I told him I was putting him on hold and would get someone to answer him. He hung up as soon as I put him on hold.

When I told my manager about it, she said that he calls every couple of weeks. She also said if I would have continued the conversation, he would have asked me about whether the hair under my arms was soft or course. I was advised to hang up on him if he calls again. We did end up having a laugh at his expense, but I found myself wondering why someone would do that? First, didn’t he have a computer where he could look at pictures of all the armpits he wanted to? Second, why would he want to force an unwilling retail worker to help him with his fetish? There are plenty of dating apps where he should be able to find any type of woman he wants, but he decided to pick an unwillingly and unknowing woman. What disgusts me most is that he likely picked a retail store because the person answering the phone would be forced to be kind to him.

Later, I mentioned the phone call to some friends and someone who plus size clothing store spoke up about the panty man. The panty man would call her store and ask about the panties that they carried. He wanted the women to describe the panties in graphic detail, and then he would inquire about the type of panties the worker was wearing.

So, what steps should you take if you ever find yourself on the phone with one of these men?

  • The first thing you should do is check the caller id. Even if the caller’s name isn’t displayed, their number likely will be. Jot their number down so you can give it to your manager later.
  • Hang up or put him on hold. This man is not a customer and does not deserve your time or kindness.
  • Tell your manager and work together to figure out where to go from there.

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About the Creator

Jade M.

Jade is an indie author from Louisiana. While her first book failed, she has plans to edit and republish it and try again. She has a senior min pin that she calls her little editor, and a passion for video games and makeup.

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  • Mark vetter4 months ago

    The armpit guy called a store i worked at back in earlier time. I was close to the department and could take the phone if requested and inform the armpit that i would be providing the services to him and started asking questions about how it should be done. (I was coached on the questions.) I could them to hang up and not call back.

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