Piece by Piece

The idea of Happiness today seems to exist as the goal, the endpoint, and the hope. For Most, it is not a state of being that rules our everyday life but instead exists only when the work is done, the bills are paid, and the world is still turning. Happiness and future happiness have been in my thoughts daily, as I am a recent graduate of the University of Texas and the only question people know to ask me these days is: What's next? For so long, I have pictured happiness like a chocolate cake at the end of a marathon. Once I finish school, once I have a steady job, and once I finally have money, then is when happiness kicks in. Then is when I can binge eat my cake and put the proud '26.2' sticker on my car. However, there was a wrench in my plans when life didn't go as expected and for worse or for better: a pandemic happened. We all know the effects of Covid-19, but the one that looked me straight in the eyes was employment, and the lack of options I had as time ticked closer to graduation. Not only do I already hate running, but nearing the end of my race it felt like I was zip-tied to a bag of bricks on my last several miles, and at this point I am so hungry for chocolate cake. But in times like these when the reality of this short life hits, it makes you think: why suffer through a marathon at all? As for my life, I'd rather be on a stroll, dropping the weight of each expectation tied to my back - brick by brick - and that's where scissors come in.

Along with the curse of anxiety, the pandemic blessed us with time. As I was sent home early from my Junior year of college, I had time on my hands that I was excited about - time on my hands that didn't require me to be in class or at my part-time job, but able to create. My vision for art has always been big, every piece I do you won’t forget to see or feel something by it, but the subject is always the most difficult part.

With that being said, bear with me for the back story of this main piece. While I was in college my family moved to the central part of Colorado. Because they moved to be near family, I have grown up loving and admiring many things about such a beautiful place, but what I failed to acknowledge was its history. Every street in my new neighborhood is uniquely named: Ute road, Apache trail, Comanche Drive, the list goes on in naming the Indigenous tribes that once inhabited the land. Odes to the once native land are everywhere you look. Tall and strong marker trees line the driveway, trees that were tied down in their youth and trained to grow in a perfect curve that would point to the direction of potential water or central meeting places for the tribe. The most noticeable feature of the area is referred to by many as ‘Indian head rock’ or ‘The Chief’, where if you are located in the right view the side of this mountain-scape looks picturesque in its imagery of an Indian profile. When you see this natural work of art, it feels almost spiritual that this rock and this chief looks over the valleys and hills that once belonged to its peoples. Not only did this research about the area and Native Americans spark my interest to take Indigenous studies courses at UT, but it sparked my creative inspiration as well. I decided to make ‘The Chief’ come to life in our home, as a personal dedication and appreciation for indigenous peoples and what was lost, while also creating beauty in what is still there and what their culture endured.

The piece is a 60” tall by 48” wide portrait of the profile of the chief. The face is painted with acrylic, whereas the headdress is carefully crafted through the art of collage. My fingers ached by the end of the 8-week project, hand cutting each feather and small detail that was to be precisely glued for the sake of a bigger beauty. Maps of Colorado land, close-up images of stones, and flowers make up pieces of the headdress - giving life and color to the forgotten chief one puzzle piece at a time. This was the first collage I had ever done, but it sparked a world of interest and clientele for me. Soon after I posted my work on social media, I received many commission offers for similar significant works. Many families had Native American ancestry as well as an appreciation and interest in their culture as I did, so I did two additional commissioned pieces similar to this one that same summer. This project not only opened the doors to my passion for collage art, but it was when I finished my race and realized I could find happiness in making art a profession - a bonus was that it gave me the means to finish my education with a little less debt.

My major in college was Textiles and Apparel Technical and Functional Design - a mouthful to plainly say fashion design with an emphasis in textile science. For starters, this major was intimidating to me. I walked in with no knowledge of how to sew, pattern-make, drape, design, or any of the small things in between. I remember walking into JoAnn’s Fabric store overwhelmed with the sewing checklist given to me by my professor, I also remember being convinced by the sales clerk to purchase 3 different use pairs of Fiskars scissors, and the same pairs saved me as I cut each pattern piece for every garment I created throughout my time at UT. Although a portion of my learning was interrupted by covid-19, my senior year approached quickly and it was time for my capstone collection where I designed and created 4 complete looks. My collection was inspired by skin and the delicateness of it, the metaphor of growing thick skin and tearing apart old skin through the use of handmade knits and skin tone fabrics. The idea of skin and its delicateness reflected the ways in which society and the media wear and tear us down- acting as a really heavy brick in our marathon. The fabrics and materials used for the collection and for all our courses were out-of-pocket expenses, making me thankful for the art business I had created over the quarantine, allowing me to execute my vision for clothing in fabrics I could now afford. Fashion design was an experience for me that expanded my creativity and broadened my horizons - all while cutting, trimming, and snipping.

This craft has allowed me more than just the creation of beautiful things such as grand collage art pieces or fashionable dresses, it has allowed me to finance more creations and dream of ways to pursue happiness aside from a corporate job. My happiness in creativity has essentially been founded by what it means to cut and piece something new together, whether it’s paper or fabric, a new path has been opened for me in my career and in my life, eating my cake slowly - and one piece at a time.