Not sure what to say.

I went through vocal, looking at inspiration because I didn't know what on earth to write about, but while going through the most recent feed a passive glance had me feeling very discouraged.

I know that a lot of my "down-in-the-dumps" feelings have been as a result of quarantine. Much like a large majority of the population, I have lost my job. people in my field don't count as essential workers...

Looking at these new articles, I felt sad and frustrated, because there is sill a factory mindset that I really dislike.

I understand where the logic comes from. Our digital age adopted a factory mindset that built all of it's trajectories based on numbers, and the numbers game.

***(This might be another reason why large companies are frequently updating their systems. Good examples of this are interfaces like YouTube. Once they realized that people were benefiting from the numbers game they designed, they re-wrote it so that the odds were in the company's favor rather than artists and creators themselves.... which is also why there was that weird beautiful golden age where people were able to flourish and create freely and be rewarded for their efforts, and now have to ask for your attention in order to get any kind of reward, whilst also censoring a large majority of their content to survive... and just like that, it because another version of network television.)

It seems to be the same thing with stories and writing.

I mean, I feel bad for people who put their heart and soul into their work, and they build something amazing, but if the numbers game isn't in their favor... they may never have a real opportunity to get the attention that they actually deserve.

As far as myself, I know I'm a medium writer. I don't have the heart to write about fluff, or trending topics that I don't care about to get extra attention. I also know that I am not qualified to talk about topics I know nothing about, people who do, are just cashing in on a smarter person's hard work and that is wrong. I know I'm not an epic writer. I have A.D.H.D. Raging Dyslexia and Brain damage from a serious virus when I was a baby... I get it.My 'skillz to pay the billz' is getting more and more limited by the viral minute. I know where my skill level is at.

I'm just sad that this numbers game is what makes or breaks the success of most content creators these days. It really is a broken system.

You either have to know how to use all those numbers and statistics in your favor, or hope you get really lucky before they make another systems update! OR... win the internet's viral garbage lottery system as the new and temporary placeholder for that attention (quickly forfeited when the next dumb cat video or really believable fake news outlet steps in line).

This system is wrong!

I don't know what the solution would be, because it would mean people would need to get off their high-horses for five minutes...

Most people would say, " do what you love! it'll work out in the end!"

But there is a reality check at play here, most people give everything to their art! AND... a good majority of them live within some realm of poverty in that process. (Heck, I've already been homeless a couple times for the "sake of my art")...

It hurts digging yourself out of that hole, to find the whole world changed while you were down there.

I don't want to be disheartened by the numbers game, but it's everywhere. I really hate the way this whole thing works.

Can't even use course language because bad words are offensive to some people... and this is the dangerous thing. There is this idea that we must live in a world where we are obligated to make sure that everyone is "happy" and we become as a result, stranded within the confines of the world's expectations... WHILE also deep-throating lies about how "everyone has their own journey, and to each their own"... There are over 7 billion people on earth... how one earth do you expect everyone to be sure they will be able to please all of them without stepping on anyone's toes?

If everyone "has their own journey" obligatory censorship is cleverly disguised as tyranny, and our social requirements to not melt any "sensitive snowflakes" while our rage and expression is catching fire... is just... dumb.

I'm sad... I want to drop F-bombs, and be real without tip-toeing through the tulips with this nonsense. Creative expression shouldn't be limited to the factory setting of whatever social media interface you are applying it to. expressing yourself shouldn't require a filter.

Art is an expression that should be allowed to be organic, flawed, offensive, and shameless.