Need For Vulnerability

Five years ago I had the pleasure to meet and gain a new friend. She was an emergency room nurse at the time and was writing a paper to be published so she could register as a nurse practitioner. We went to the same gym as at the time I lived in the south side of the city. She learnt that one of my hobbies was writing and read some of my work. She said I had talent and asked if I could read her paper. Her paper was about the need for vulnerability as an ER nurse. The paper states that being vulnerable prevents burn out and is needed in professions to keep humility and honesty within oneself while also helping others.

I have read this article many times over the last five years. While this article is about a profession-an honorable one as well, it can definitely be used in the broader interface of society in general. People, men in particular, are often seen as weak should they show emotions. With resources available, sometimes it can be very challenging to reach out for help. Ultimately, vulnerability is a sign of strength. I recently wrote about a workplace I had to leave because the toxicity was building up inside me. I put up with the workplace chasing the paycheque. I neglected myself and put the workplace that mistreated employees above my needs. It has been roughly three months I have been out of work.

As a person with a disability my mind is always on high alert. I have trouble filtering my thoughts and while I have savings to last some time, I would prefer to be working. My abilities do not align with intelligence. I have sensory issues and struggle to communicate when overwhelmed. Ultimately this means I have to be selective of my work environment. How does this relate to vulnerability? I realize that while I am capable of finding work on my own, I also should and will use the assistance of a job coach. They can vouch for me on my work ethic and hopefully help me communicate with employers that while I don’t actively communicate it, I bottle my emotions and need to seek help before I self-destruct.

The whole aspect of vulnerability and people lacking in admitting to needing help is so broad in today’s world. This holiday season I see people stressing out compulsively buying sale items. Some of these people live paycheque to paycheque and ultimately realize in the New Year that they have put themselves into debt. How does this relate to my topic? Disingenuity. People neglect their own selves as a point to assist others with materialism. They neglect the core problem they have, are not facing their true feelings and as a result over compensate with compulsive spending. The excess spending in itself is a form of self-destruction and over stressing is as well especially for a holiday that is about family and self-love.

As someone who has spent time in Psychiatric care and a user of Crisis Lines as I don’t have a bond with my immediate family, I find many people who use these services to be people who were forced. Last January when I went to the hospital for Covid related symptoms-and a Covid test (positive)-I saw the dissent of people and even staff in the ER. Many patients had been forced there as a result of drug use, self-harm and other self-destructive behaviors. I saw patients fighting with staff that they wanted to be at home and there were a select few staff who showed little empathy and threatened to call security. The healthcare system is right now overwhelmed with understaffing and the fact that mental health has got worse with the state of the world and things beyond our control. Yet, this is no reason to lack empathy as empathy can save lives and is a form of vulnerability. With people in healthcare being overworked this too relates to my friend’s article on the need to be vulnerable at work and ask for help to prevent burnout. As this topic is so broad and enlightening, I will visit in future.