Lifelines

Suicide. It’s one of the most sensitive subjects of reality to talk about in mixed company. One of the most difficult aspects of it is how we regard people with suicidal thoughts. Suicide is very traumatic, perhaps more for the living than the dead. I think the only way to truly fight suicide is a better sense of understanding and empathy towards the suicidal.

When someone commits suicide or at the least attempts it, what are the reactions of the people surrounding the suicidal victims? Some are appalled, some are sad, some are confused, some are even angry. If someone were to ask me which response is the least progressive I would definitely say anger and resentment is most harmful. I will also be the first to admit that I am guilty of taking this stance. When I heard about a suicide or an attempt at it when I was younger, I always had mixed emotions about it, all of which were negative. I would sometimes feel a mix of sadness and shock especially if it was in regards to someone I knew personally or at the most admired, like a famous person.

At the same time I almost always had thoughts of condemnation toward the suicidal victim in question. My mindset was I got that the person was hurting, but by taking your own life you went out like a cowards because you stopped fighting your demons and you caused a lot of pain towards the people who love you without consideration, so that also makes you selfish. As valid and justified as this point of view seems, it does nothing to help a suicidal person and if anything the condemnation adds to the pain of an already fragile mind who feels a deep sense of internal pain and wants to die.

Today I believe in having a different approach, even in thought, in regards to a suicidal person. The first step in this approach is putting yourself in the shoes of the suicidal of the suicidal person from a first person point of view. For many of us in the second or third person point of view our outlook is “why would you want to kill yourself? You are so loved, you mean so much to so many people and it would cause a great deal of pain to the living if you were to end your own life.” All of those points may be true, but the harsh reality is the suicidal person can’t feel all those emotions, thoughts and high regards from other people. They can only feel what lives in their inner self and pain is all their inner self is in tune with, then that is all that will register to them.

We cannot truly resolve what is wrong with a suicidal person until we help them heal their own internal brokenness. A good first step in doing this is by not being fooled by what we see on the surface. It’s easy for us to be fooled by the smile on a person’s face, along with the laughs that emanate from it, or even by an abundance of material wealth. We see these things, especially from the rich and wealthy and think “well they seem to have it all and life looks peachy so they’re can’t possibly be anything wrong with that person, right?” Wrong. Very often these things are used to cover up the pain a suicidal person feels internally, so as a concerned friend or loved one, every now and then we just need to sit down with a person who exudes all of these qualities and ask them how are they doing and how life has been treating them. It’s also important to be gentle with the other person while doing so, as they would be more likely to open up to us if we embrace them in a tranquil manner.

Something that most people overlook when thinking about a suicide victim is the burden the suicidal person feels they are causing others. Many suicidal people refuse to open up with others because they think that expressing their turmoil is only causing problems and turmoil for someone else, so it’s important to let them know that their pain is not a burden and that you would rather help them solve their conflict, than have it worsen. Let them know that you would rather hear their tears up close and personal, as opposed to shedding tears of regret about what you could have done at that person’s funeral

Social media can be a good way to help in this area. Because social media has the range to connect us with countless individual, many of which have surely dealt with suicidal thoughts. Every now and then, get on your Facebook, Instagram or Twitter and put up a post that invites anyone who is struggling with an internal conflict to reach out and contact you or some other form of a help line for support. Doing this not only reaches a lot of people, but also does not make anyone feel singled out or alone in their battle, making their journey to recovery a bit easier.

Suicide is something that will always be around unfortunately, but the fight against it will also always be around. The best way for us to win this fight is not through judgment and condemnation, but through empathy and understanding. I’m not suggesting that you give all of yourself to help a suicidal person to the point where you have nothing left, but give as much as you can to the point where you cannot only sustain yourself, but help others as well. With this better sense of communication we cannot only save lives, but even become another form of a lifeline. Do you know someone who battles depression or suicidal thoughts? If so, reach out to them in these better ways and become a new lifeline. Who knows, tomorrow you may be lifeline who convinces someone to choose life.