life formulas suck (now i'm focusing on being mindful from each moment to the next)

Some days I like to imagine my life as a book, specifically a memoir. Each scene or part possesses a clear setting. It seems like a perfect method to romanticize life, so why does it make me feel dejected and sad at times?

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Short little intro/interlude before we begin: Hi, my name is Huan Huan and I’m fairly new to Vocal. This piece is heavily inspired by current events in my life. I’m falling in love with the artistic community here, I greatly hope you’ll stop by and leave a comment so I visit your writing as well~ 💌🤗

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The setting is related to my routine: The activities I do in the routine are always different, yet I can classify them. For example, let’s say I see my friends twice a week. And I study for 4 hours each day. I exercise for half an hour every day. Or I write for 6 hours on each day of the weekend.

All these activities are the substance of life, that make up the tone. It takes me back to English class- What is the tone of this poem? What words does the author use to create this tone? In this case, I am the author; how I live my life is how a specific tone is produced.

I love this quote: “I trust the next chapter because I know the author.”

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In theory, this should help us romanticize life more: Taking a step back and seeing the bird's eye view of everything. Yet, unintentionally, it results in predicting the future, which can be mundane and routine.

But we can never predict the people we will meet

or the things we will do

or the challenges that will ultimately help us grow in the end.

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And I think that is the way the human body functions. Which may be the reason perceiving my life in this way makes me feel rather empty and dejected.

I was looking at my life like a formula.

I love Dr. Andrew Huberman’s podcast, and I know this off the top of my head, so let me use his “formula” of sorts as an example:

1. Stress regulation

2. Early sunlight and darkness at night

3. Sleep

4. Movement

5. Meaningful social relationships

6. Nutrition

(Find the podcast episode here. I highly recommend!)

Dr. Huberman provides general guidelines for the amount of each you should receive/acquire on the daily/weekly. I like that- It supplies doable practical tips rather than generalizations.

Applying these tips was extremely helpful to my life, however, they promoted the viewing of happiness as an addition of all these… factors (in technical math terms: addends)

The idea of a “life formula” presents the conflict in balancing out having structure and routine whilst also embracing the spontaneity that makes life so beautiful. If I could, I would compile a list just like Dr. Huberman did of how to live life beautifully. But I don’t know the answer. I don’t have definite answers.

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Yet, when I meditate, when I exercise, when I lose myself in the presence of people who lift me up and make me laugh, I forget about the narrative. I forget what else I need to put in the “formula” for the rest of the day or the rest of the week to complete the “recipe.” I forget about the fact that I haven’t exercised today or eaten enough protein today. Because I know that I don’t need to worry about it now to be compelled to do it later.

…I realized that, regarding life, you’re not the reader. You’re not even technically the author. You’re a character. You need to put yourself in the story and live it.

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