Life and Purpose

Many years ago, when I was in my 20s and had a carefree perspective on life, I had an acquaintance ask me a question. This question has haunted me all my life, and now that I am a few weeks away from my 40th birthday, the question still burns in my mind.

He asked me, “What is your plan for your life?”

Back then I had no thoughts for my future. I was young, pretty, and had some things going on for me. However, I never ever thought about the big stuff for the bigger picture. My primary aim at the time was to bag a nice, rich, young man for a husband, and everything in my life would fall into place.

It was at that moment that I realized that I had no plan. No ambitions, no dreams, no hopes, no passion. I was empty.

You see, we live in a world where young people are constantly being conditioned to go through life following a model that was set by society. You hear young people being told things like, go to school, get good grades, proceed to college, graduate, and get a good job. They will further tell you to get married at 25, settle down and raise a family.

It is harder for females because they are pressured to be pretty and well-mannered. The end goal is to marry young and have children.

So, back then, I had no ambition, no desire, no goals, n nothing. All I wanted at that time was to get married.

Fast-forward 15 years later, I have come to realize a few vital things as it pertains to life and living to the fullest.

Draw up a plan for your life as early as possible. This plan should include the kind of career or vocation that you want to engage in. It should contain wants and desires as it pertains to all life’s areas. The plan should be detailed enough to guide you to the kind of life you want for yourself. I recommend that young people draw up this plan before their 18th birthday.

Focus on your plan and work tenaciously to achieve all your goals. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, I only existed for one thing - to be noticed by a nice young gentleman, who would possibly proceed to marry me. Back then, I believed that life would truly begin to have meaning after marriage. By then, I would further my education by obtaining a master's degree or learning a skill, and possibly getting a job. However, none of that mattered if I didn't get married.

Discover your passions and stick to the one that you are most capable of. I was great at singing, and back in the day in my church choir, people would be in awe of my singing prowess. I remember one of those days, a friend asked me what my plans were in regard to making my own music. She asked me about the songs that I had written. It was only fair and natural that someone who could sing so well would have some original songs in her arsenal. I had nothing. The last thing on my mind was making music and writing songs. I just wanted to get married.

Learn skills that would help you get the life you dream of. I had the opportunity to perfect on my cake-baking skills or pursue some training in software engineering. Who knows, maybe by now, I would have developed something awesome that would help solve some of life's issues.

They say "You shouldn’t live your life based on the expectations of other people". That's exactly what I did. I lived my life based on the expectations of my mother, siblings, church people, and friends. Everyone expected my life to go the normal route, and I accepted it as my fate. I guess that is the reason why I lived, breathed, and fantasized about marriage the whole time.

If only I had known, I would have avoided unnecessary distractions. I formed friendships with people that I had no business relating with. There is a wise saying that says that you are an average of the five people you spend most of your time with. This is nothing but the truth. I spent my time surrounded by people who didn't have visionary thinking. We were all very myopic in our thinking and it was evident in the quality of our lives.

Not having a plan can be quite daunting and frustrating because you really do not have a direction in life. People who do not have directions in life are likened to a reed in the wind. They get blown in multiple directions and end up achieving nothing.

I wish I knew the things I know now back then. I wish that I was more intentional in my dreams and drive in life.

I just wish...

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