Legoland - Fun for Kids, Hell for Workers

Ahh, Legoland. Most kids' first theme park. And, it's one heck of a theme park. The rides are great for starters, there are fun activities, the models are incredible and you're sure to have a fun-packed day...

...

... if you're a child.

Working in Legoland, however, was horrendous. I loved the place as a kid, but working there has ruined it for me forever. The managers are rude and lazy, your co-workers are often first year college students who think they know everything, and some of the parents are worse than the children. Don’t get me wrong, there was the occasional perk, like 20 free tickets to any Merlin attraction. But fuck me, you needed that after putting up with the shit from working there.

The average day was meant to be 8-8. With one half hour break halfway through. But the time it took you to walk from the park to the staff room, you only had about 7 minutes to get a drink; and that’s if you were lucky enough to be taken off on time. Which, let me tell you now, hardly ever fucking happened.

I remember once, I was operating a ride on my own, because we were short staffed. So that meant measuring the kids, counting customers and setting the ride off, etc. Which doesn’t sound like much, but trust me, it’s a lot of figures, working out and dealing with over-excited kids and pissed off parents. The worst invention in the world was the Q-bot system. Which let rich arseholes jump the line. It made them feel even more entitled. The rule on my ride, was you let 2 Q-bot customers in, and 5 'normal' ones. Well, Mr high and mighty didn’t think that was fair. He was tall. Really fucking tall. And he stood over me, shouting and spitting in my face, warning me that if I didn’t let him and his son on the next ride, he’d report me, and blah blah blah. I mean, for what mate?

When I first applied to work there, I was pretty excited. I had an annual pass to Legoland as a kid. I literally lived about a half hour drive away. I told everyone I knew I was going to work there. Training was super easy and it all happened very quickly. But it only took two shifts and meeting my Team Leader once, to know that it wasn't going to be anywhere near as good as I thought. My Team Leader was awful. One of the worst people I've ever had to work under. She'd been working at Legoland her whole work life and boy did she let the slightest bit of authority go to her head. She wasn't even the manager but she sure acted as if she were. I hated her.

Even with her aside, it was an absolute hell hole to work in. Of course, I'm talking about the UK's Legoland, the other one's around the world may be different. But I don't think I would ever go back there. Minimum wage for doing three people's jobs, only one perk, and there's no loyalty. They make sure that you know that you're easily replaced. You could pay me a grand a day, and I still wouldn't go back. I worked as a Ride Operator, but I know for a fact that the F&B section of the park is just as bad.

So please, if you have fond memories of Legoland, don't work there. Stay safe with your beautiful memories. Visit for a fun day, but stay the fuck away from the job applications. Trust me on this.