JuZ Untitled

The mind is such a vast part about being human. Your thoughts, your knowledge, your memory. They are all such powerful things. Yet, we can’t access it all. Lately my brain is trying to figure out how to put things into words. I question whether I should write about my life, or write about what I know. Maybe it’s both.

My life began in Bowglowla/NSW I was born with two parents, who gave me a great childhood and taught me a lot about life. I also had a Grandparent who taught me the little extra things and values. I had pets, I loved animals (still do). I loved spending time with my neighbours despite having it’s ups and downs. I loved parties and didn’t like school. Got baptised. Sometimes I got into trouble. I was an average kid with a simple life.

I honestly don’t know what I am getting at here. I guess I am just filling in time and sharing myself for the curious-minded individuals. I can’t tell you all the rest of my life just yet. I’ll keep it patchy because if you meet me there may not be enough questions for you to ask and therefore not as many answers or as much conversation. But to hell with it.

Some people start collecting things, like stamps, comic books, valuable figurines that they still keep in boxes to keep their materialistic value. I have unwillingly written and collected Diarys.

There is enough to write a book in all those little books and all those little books are like chapters to a bigger book. This is how I remember things and remember who I was. Sometimes your own history is really hard to recall. So sometimes you revisit for the nostalgia. No one aside from my mother no one has ever picked up any of them and read them behind my back, which makes me feel rather fortunate. I must admit that my writing has been a mix of good, bad and the somewhat amusing. Because no one reads it I have no regrets. If I got a problem. I get it out of paper so I don’t think about it anymore. Alot of the time I don’t really write about what I really think of people unless I am pretty pissed off or I really really like someone.

Another thing I think a lot about is how far I have come and how much I have learnt. I have learnt from my mistakes, I have learnt from other people and internet research whenever I am curious. I still feed my curiosity whenever I feel inspired and that there is something new and that I have always wanted to learn. I tend to avoid arguments about beliefs because it is just another thing that involves unnecessary energy, which I find way too draining. Why can’t we all just get along?

When it comes to my personality I lack a bit of confidence. Especially around people. It’s contradictory because sometimes I don’t mind social interactions. But I also hate it sometimes because people are so judgemental. We are so self absorbed in other people’s opinions that we can forget to love ourselves. I feel that we could be better towards each other rather than think about how bad we are treated and how awful other’s can be.

But the good side of myself is that I have been told I am wise. That I can agree with. Funny? Not sure. Usually it is when I tell the truth and don’t mean for it to be so amusing. Aside from my family I am not sure if other people really love me. This is never been validated so much probably because I spend a lot of my time alone. But also it’d be nice if at least one person validated my good side more rather than gossip about some of the bad things I might of done.

I see myself as a pretty decent person. I am more Human Than Human like a Rob Zombie song. People forget their own humanity because they are too occupied in other things. I am taking the time to validate that I can be a helpful, creative, honest person. My story is not over.