January12th, 2024

I woke up out of my sleep this morning, miserable not sure of what the day would bring. Another day waiting for a call that may never come, waiting for a job opportunity I believed was in my lap. I woke out of my sleep this morning around 9:30 am knowing I wanted to be asleep till 2 or 3 p.m., as long as I could to ease some anxiety and sadness. I woke up out of my sleep knowing I would have to look for another job. And start the process of waiting for interviews. Throughout the day I was tired, trying to stay busy eating, and watching tv. I knew that I didn't want to be present I wanted to hide from everything. The weather was horrible just adding to my gloom. I knew though I had to be present for him, tonight was his was birthday dinner. A simple dinner I knew was an excitement.

I still became irritated throughout the afternoon and early evening. A shower before dinner I prayed would calm my nerves. I was moody but he still kept making me smile, he still kept coming up to me singing and dancing. On the way to dinner, I tried to relax, but small issues I felt I was facing took over my mind and I couldn't relax. The music was loud, but he still held my hand and sang to me, he still danced in his seat.

Finally arriving at the restaurant, I was hungry and ready to see how long the wait to be seated would be because I didn't know how long I could go without potentially ruining the evening with my mood. When he went to check how long the table was going to take. I took the time to pray, I prayed for something to remove me from the anxiety and cover my eyes and thoughts with positivity, I prayed hard for something to happen to bring me out of this depressing funk I've been in. I prayed for help, I wanted to be happy because tonight wasn't about me, it was his birthday dinner. When he got back in the car, I relaxed and felt better.

Dinner was great, it felt good being able to treat him on this special occasion. He's so handsome, a fresh haircut does him so well. The great moments continued but I was still a bit sad. After dinner ended We headed to his mom's place to pick up his birthday gift. I was ready to conversate about our daughter, play with puppies, and see what he got from his mom. His mom calls our daughter, and they go into the room as I begin to walk in the room with them, she says stay downstairs. Not thinking anything of it I walk back to the dining area. He opens up his gift a crown and balloons a cute gift from our daughter. His mom also gave us a bottle of champagne, I was happy to receive something to help me relax more later.

You have one more gift his mom says to him, there is a blue bag, and when he opens the bag there is a shirt inside it, a dark grey shirt. As he looked at the shirt, he said this isn't my size, I couldn't see what the shirt said so I walked to the side of him to get a better look. He hands me the shirt.

The words didn't register Future Mrs. Future Mrs, my brain was not registering or making a connection. And when it finally hit me, he was on one knee, reaching for my hand. I froze, and he asked me to marry him. And I said YES!

My prayers were answered, and not just because he proposed, but spiritually also because I had been seen, loved, and given a great evening that I will remember for the rest of my life.

P.S. I love you Fiancé.