I Won’t Debate Anymore!

I am stressed out by a comment I should have ignored and because of that I can’t sleep. It’s new year's eve, so I can not sleep if I want to and no one will care. Though, theoretically it is already the new year, starting awfully bad for me. All that because I decided to make ONE comment on a subject of debate. It’s decided, my new year resolution is to get involved in no more debates anymore. If you wondered what the debate was about, I won’t even mention it. It would only bring the debate here instead and I said no debates! My sleep depends on it. I need my sleep back!

I’m trashing my old resolutions for the new year. Why would I mind cleaning my room and turning it into something more appealing to the eye? The important thing isn't the appearance of if, but the sleep I get in it. And HOW would I be able to get a good night of sleep if I’m stuck thinking about a freaking debate I got involved in?

The worst part of it all, is that I was metaphorically stabbed by one of the people I was agreeing with. What is the point of debating when you just get stuck in no man's land every time? Trying to mediate with people who seem to just want to fight, is not for me anymore. No more debate, no more mediation, no more no man’s land!

I might mediate again, but if someone even tries to make me take a side in their debates, I’m out! If I feel like all they want to do is fight, I’m out! If they want to fight, they should just do what they want and leave me out of it. How would I be able to do anything for them?

I said I’m trashing my old resolutions, but I’m not trashing all of them. I will take more time to write. It’s the only thing right now that makes me able to process my feelings and might possibly give me back the sleep I’m not able to get at the moment.

I tried reading, which also was in my resolutions. I tried to find a nice online story which would be light enough to take my mind out of those things, but when I finally found one that seemed to be following my tastes and restrictions, it started off with a debate on if the main character should be lazy or not. It scraped my mood right there. Finding a story lightened my mood, but reading those sentences made it worse!

So I decided to write my own light story instead, which I obviously haven't done yet. I had an idea before I actually got to it. I thought to myself;

“Why don’t I write about my feelings? I should write my feelings and my new year resolutions? I do remember a challenge I wasn't sure if I wanted to do because I didn’t know what I should take as resolutions? (Oddly specific isn’t it? It almost feels as if the incident happened just for that purpose.) It would kill three birds with one stone. I would process my feelings better, make my new year resolutions and complete the challenge all at once.”

So, feelings somewhat processed, let’s make a more concrete list of resolutions;

1. NO DEBATES!

2. Writing more (to process my feelings and to carry myself in a wonderful world)

And,

3. (Because it’s the perfect number) Acknowledging my own limitations.

The last one is also very important. I do tend to put myself in situations that exceed my limits… Just like that comment on that debate. Should I ban the word debate from my vocabulary? No! It would only make it harder to escape it…

I should also acknowledge the limitations of my body. Such as, I might not feel sleepy right now, because my feelings are elsewhere, but you still need sleep! I did my business here, I processed my feelings, now I can leave the rest for tomorrow, or more accurately for later today. The challenge won’t end until later this month, so I have time to correct the text and everything!