I was an escort

Some readers may be aware that I have held down a variety of different jobs during my long working career. These include journalist (mostly as magazine editor-in-chief), business director, prison custodial officer, and UK government security policy official. For the past three years, I have worked as an occasional front-line security operative, just a few days a month. I like to think of myself as 'almost retired.' This is when I am not writing, of course, which is my main occupation these days, though the pay is lousy.

One of my favourite job tasks, over the decades, has been acting as host, or escort. When I was a magazine editor, for instance, I was often called in to a business lunch with advertising manager colleagues, to help schmooze a valuable client or prospect. I was always happy to do so, play the host, not least because someone else was footing the bill.

One such event, when I worked for a big transatlantic publishing house, involved a client that was either Microsoft or IBM, or some other top-level corporate, I don't recall. The kind of client that could be expected to spend a seven-figure sum with us. The tower-block home of my employer included an entertaining suite on the top floor, complete with its own kitchen and chef. We had booked the facility in order to entertain our client contacts. Just before our lunchtime appointment, we took a call from the CEO’s personal assistant, saying the room was needed for a meeting of the board of directors. We asked the PA to go back to her boss, telling him that we had booked first, and that clients were more important than directors. The CEO took the point and backed down, ha ha!

Many years later, my role as a prison officer frequently found me escorting prisoners around the prison, sometimes outside. I was also deployed, from time to time, escorting professional visitors to the prison. Visitors such as solicitors seeing their prisoner clients, police officers with a need to interview witnesses in prison, doctors, judges, maintenance contractors. All with a view to keeping my escortees safe and secure. In the case of visiting maintenance people, keeping their tools secure too.

Being a courteous host and guide has always been a delight to me, even when my ‘guests’ have been prisoners. One duty involved escorting prisoners from the prison reception to their first-night cells. Imagine what your first night behind bars would be like. I often joked with them about how poor my sense of direction was, even though the layout of the building was simplicity itself.

“You’ll know I’ve taken a wrong turning,” I might say... “If we end up at the bus stop on the Cally Road.” Pentonville prison, in North London, is situated along the Caledonian Road, a few miles north of King's Cross station. Not a particularly good joke, but it usually raised a laugh, lightening the mood a little.

I was also sometimes assigned the duty of escorting prisoners to outside hospital and others such appointments. There are many tales I could tell about some of the incidents that occurred on these duties but, then... perhaps another day.

My latest, probably last, career is that of a licensed and occasional security operative. I mostly assist at movie business, fashion and other events, sometimes other functions. One of the best assignments I have had so far, was to escort a leading movie director at a small event to be held in a London location.

Two of us were assigned to the job, and it was simple enough. In our movie business role, our main responsibility is to protect the clients’ assets. These assets include reputation, intellectual property (IP), and what is generally referred to, generically, as the ‘talent.’ This refers, of course, to the movie stars, but also to the other talented people involved in the film-making process. In this case the top man, the director of a just-released blockbuster. Our job was to keep the director safe, and escort him between his car and the theatre, where he was to give a talk to some invited guests, all movie experts and enthusiasts of one sort or another.

Although you can never know what might happen at this kinda gig, they are considered low risk. A small, private event, where the hand-picked guests can be expected to be on their best behaviour. The fact that there was no alcohol on offer, helped. The main risk would be from fans and autograph hunters, who could sometimes prove unruly.

‘Professional’ autograph-hunters always seem to know when and where to find their quarry, but on this occasion they were no problem to manage. In that private premises, they were allowed access only with our permission. Half a dozen middle-aged men, bent on adding a set of valuable autographs to their eBay inventory. We chatted to them amiably, as we often did, explaining that it was entirely up to the Director whether he gave autographs, or not. They knew the score. Be nice or be somewhere else. They needed us to facilitate.

At some point around the appointed time, we met the film Director's chauffer-driven car, checking the surroundings for anything, or anyone, unusual, before duly escorting our guest into the venue.

I don’t recall if our man gave autographs before or after his talk, but there were no problem children. Best behaviour, as I said. I am neither trained, nor paid, as a close protection officer (bodyguard) but the scruffy autograph guys don’t know that. Some of them may have seen what a CP officer can do if someone gets too close to the person being protected. So it is enough for us to be there and look like we mean business, to prevent them rushing forward toward our guest.

All things being sweet, we duly invited the Director to head into the auditorium, with me accompanying him. My colleague remained outside the door, to prevent unauthorised access. I stood outside the closed door with the director, waiting for his intro to finish. After a few words of polite exchange, I left him to his thoughts. I figured he might need to concentrate on his talk. As I followed him into the auditorium, he walked up onto the stage. I positioned myself to the side of the platform, facing the audience, ready to deal with anyone who got over-excited enough to approach the stage. Nobody did, of course. The movie buffs were all quiet, polite, and attentive, asking questions only at the designated time.

This was all as expected, leaving me to keep an eye on the audience, while listening to the director’s talk, which was fascinating. I learnt a lot about how this director approached his role, and how the lead actor in the new movie prepared for his.

Talk and question time over, we duly escorted the director back to his car.

Job done

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