I Am Introverted With No Friends

Nowadays, having no friends is more common, and it's not the worst thing for many. Like all my fellow introverts, we prefer to be left alone.

Sure, some days, I long for a meaningful conversation with someone. Someone who understands me and will listen, but I haven't had any luck finding that person.

All of my past "friendships" were one-sided. I could sit and listen to them talk all day, but they would never want to hear me. I would buy expensive birthday gifts even when I didn't have the money, and they wouldn't even remember to tell me "happy birthday."I could go on and on. But I was simply taken for granted. However, I know my worth now, and I will never be used again.

I am happy I experienced these toxic friendships because they taught me that not everyone has to be my friend. That people can fake sincerity all for their benefit. And that I am okay with being all alone.

I am alone, but I am not lonely

I read this somewhere, and it resonates with me to this day.

. . .

Recently, I was revisited by one of my only friends back in high school. We discussed what we had been up to last year over donuts and coffee.

She had joined the army, bought a house, and was engaged.

I was working 60 hours at a warehouse to help with bills.

Time had drifted us far apart, and there were moments of long, awkward silence that usually weren't there. I knew then that was the last time I would talk to her.

We were both onto different chapters in our lives.

After that day, we last spoke over text. She invited me to the beach, and I refused the invitation. I feel bad for doing that, but It just wasn't the same for me. I hope she can understand that she needed to move on from me.

Social Exhaustion

Social fatigue or social burnout happens when you’ve socialized to the point that you can’t do it anymore. Social exhaustion can also be called introvert burnout or introvert hangover. Although it’s not a medical diagnosis, it is a valid experience that introverts and extroverts can face. It can be an emotional and physical response to social overstimulation that leaves you feeling drained and exhausted. You might feel physically tired, stressed, angry, or irritable. Social exhaustion can feel like hitting a wall.

Friendships require a lot of work to build. Even more to keep. I often feel I can't fulfill the needs of a friend. I would count myself as loyal, trustworthy, and friendly but interacting with others is draining.

My eyes get tired. My head feels foggy, and I slowly become less and less conscious of what I say. My responses come out like a robot. A couple of nods of my head now and then, a few "I know, right!"

I get drained quickly. It is how I am. But I will never treat you wrong, and I will hang onto every word you say. I am listening, but I am tired.

Hanging out with friends can sometimes become a chore for me. I rather snuggle in bed and binge horror movies. Plans being canceled are invitations to more alone time, and I am all for it.

I must sound like an awful person.

I guess this is why I have no friends.

I'm okay being awful then, I think.

Productivity

I can say that having no friends has increased my productivity tremendously. Without constant interaction with someone, I can get more done.

I've never liked facetime calls or long-drawn-out phone calls anyway or the pressure that you need to reach out to someone in a certain amount of time.

I had someone who used to nag me about not calling after school even though the phone calls were 20 minutes of silence-massive waste of time. I will never understand how these phone calls were fun to them.

Searching

I think I am just waiting for that one person that will not drain me. Someone with a similar mindset, I guess. Until then, I am okay with being friendless. I rather not waste any more time on someone undeserving.

If you have any friends now, I urge you to cherish them, especially if they are a real friend.