How emotional intelligence became a key leadership skill.

People who take initiative, who have vision, and who can strategize, plan, and accomplish goals to achieve their vision are considered good leaders. But what about other kinds of skills that make up a good leader?

For leaders, having emotional intelligence is essential for success. After all, who is more likely to succeed - a leader who shouts at his team when he's under stress, or a leader who stays in control, and calmly assesses the situation?

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The term was coined in 1990 in research paper by two psychology professors, John D. Mayer and Peter Salovey. From a scientific standpoint , emotional intelligence is the ability to accurately perceive your own and others emotions; to understand the signals that emotions send about relationships ; and to manage your own and other's emotions. It doesn't necessarily include the qualities (like optimism, initiative, and self-confidence) that some popular definitions ascribe to it.

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An understanding of what exactly constitutes emotional intelligence is important not only because the capacity is so central to leadership but because people strong in some of its elements can be utterly lacking in others, sometimes to disastrous effect.

According to Daniel Goleman, an American psychologist who helped to popularize emotional intelligence, there are five key elements to it: 

Self-awareness

Self-regulation

Motivation

Empathy

Social skills

The more that you, as a leader, manage each others areas, the higher your emotional intelligence. So, let's look at each element and examine how you can grow as a leader.

Emotional Intelligence in Leadership.

#1. Self-awareness 

 If you're self-aware, you always know how you feel, and you know how your emotions and your actions can affect the people around you. Being self-aware when you're in a leadership positions also means having a clear picture of your strengths and weaknesses.

What can you do to improve your self-awareness?

Analyse your thoughts - If you spend just a few minutes each day writing down your thoughts, this can move you to a higher degree of self-awareness.

Slow down - When you experience anger or other strong emotions, slow down to examine why. Remember, on matter what the situation, you can always choose how you react to it.

#2.Self-regulation

Leaders who regulate themselves effectively rarely verbally attack others, make rushed or emotional decisions, stereotype people, or compromise their values. Self regulation is all about staying in control. This element of emotional intelligence, according to Goleman, also covers a leader's flexibility and commitment to personal accountability. 

How you can improve your ability to self-regulate?

Know your values - Do you have a clear idea of where you absolutely will not compromise? Do you know what values are most important to you? Spend some time examining your "code of ethics". If you know what's most important to you, then you probably won't have to think twice when you face a moral or ethical decision- you'll make the right choice.

Hold yourself accountable - If you tend to blame others when something goes wrong, stop. Make a commitment to admit to your mistakes and to face the consequences, whatever they are. You'll probably sleep better at night, and you'll quickly earn the respect of those around you.

Practice being calm - The next time you're in a challenging situation, be very aware of how you act. Do you relieve your stress by shouting at someone else? Practice deep-breathing exercises to calm yourself.

#3. Motivation 

self-motivated leaders work consistently towards their goals, and they have extremely high standards for the quality of their work.

How can you improve you're motivation?

Re-examine why you're doing your job - It's easy to forget what you really love about your career. So, take some time to remember why you wanted this job. If you're unhappy in your role and you're struggling to remember why you wanted it, try the 'whys technique' to find the rot of the problem. Starting at the root often helps you look at your situation in a new way.

Know your stand - Determine how motivated you are to lead. Leadership Motivation Assessment can help you see clearly how motivated you are in your leadership role.

Be hopeful and find something good - Motivated leaders are usually optimistic, no matter what problems they face. Every time you face a challenge, or even a failure, try to find at least one good thing about the situation. It might be something small, like a new contact, or something with long-term effects, like an important lesson learned. But there's always something positive, when you look for it. 

#4.Empathy

For leaders having empathy is critical to managing a successful team or organization. Leaders with empathy have the ability to put themselves in someone else's situation. They help develop the people on their team, challenge others who are acting unfairly, give construction feedback, and listen to those who need it.

How can you improve your empathy?

Put yourself in someone else's position - It's easy to support your own point of view. After all, it's yours. But take the time to look at situation from other people's perspectives.

Pay attention to body language - Perhaps when you listen to someone, you cross your arms, move your feet back and forth, or bite your lips. This body language tells others how you really feel about the situation, and the message you're giving isn't positive! Learning to read body language can be a real asset in a leadership role, because you'll be better able to determine how someone truly feels. This gives you the opportunity to respond appropriately.

Respond to feelings - You ask your assistant to work late-again. And although he agrees, you can hear the disappointment in his voice. So, respond by addressing his feelings. Tell him you appreciate how willing he is to work extra hours, and that you're just as frustrated about working late. If possible, figure out a way for future late nights to be less of an issue (for example, give him a day off).

#5. Social skills 

Leaders who do well in social skills elements of emotional intelligence are great communicators. They're just as open to hearing bad news, and they're expert at getting their team to support them and be excited about a new mission or project.

 Leaders who have good social skills are also good at managing change and resolving conflicts diplomatically. They're rarely satishfied with leaving things as they are, but they don't sit back and make everyone else do the work : they set an example with their own behavior.

How you can build social skills ?

Learn conflict resolution - Leaders must know how to resolve conflicts between their team members, customers, or vendors. Learning conflict resolution skills is vital if you want to succeed.

Improve your communication skills - Analyse yourself that how well do you communicate. The impact of communication is large. The person at the other point must be able to comprehend you easily, and at last there must be an acknowledgement from his point to complete the process.

Learn how to praise others - As a leader, you can inspire the loyalty of your team simply by giving praise when it's earned. Learning how to praise others is a fine art, but well worth the effort.

To be effective, leaders must have a solid understanding of how their emotions and actions affect the people around them. The better a leader relates to and works with others, the more successful he or she will be.