Have I lost it?

Have I lost my mind? I probably have, but I should be used to it by now, right?

Last year, I just finished a 9 month excelarated Veterinary Assistant program. I was part of a student council of the program and was all set to follow this career path. I had started a job that summer with a great team and I graduated the program a couple months later.

I moved out of my parents’ house to hopefully have my own space to focus on the technician program. I moved out in a matter of 3 weeks with minimal help then went on a weekend girls “vacation” afterwards. Turned into a major party and an overwhelming amount of socializing than I would have liked, but hey, at least I know now.

I returned home feeling pretty burnt out still. I figured some rest would help, but with the amount of work I do at the clinic, it would not be easy. So, I decided to try to push through like I have always done.

October hits and I get a sinus infection, so I take a couple days off and then I get a yeast infection right after I finish taking the antibiotics. What the hell, Life? So I fix that problem then there is a major pain in the left side of my groin. This is where my ovary is supposed to be. It was weird because I was nauseous and the pain would move. I had a mini pregnancy scare and took multiple tests. They all came out negative.

Okay, now I’m nervous. What the hell is this pain?

I went to urgent care and I was told a possible fibroid tumor. Wait, what?! I had no idea what that was and the word tumor made me nervous. I did as much research as I could and even got advice from my aunt who has been through stuff like this. The pain eventually became sporadic and too intense for me to drive my stick shift car. It would cause my whole left leg to be in pain.

At the beginning of December I went to the ER for the intense amount of pain I was in. I was scared and needed answers and everything I tried to book was 3-4 weeks out. I was also still working at the clinic. I need to be physically and mentally available for that job. I have called so many days off, I did not even know why I was working there anymore.

I got an ultrasound done and found out it was an ovarian cyst that was 3/4 the size of my ovary sitting at the very corner of my ovary. It was pushing on a muscle and a nerve. It finally burst in January after I had covid the first 2 weeks of January. I am now just getting over the flu.

With all this sickness and resting. I realized that, veterinary assistance and technician is no longer what I want to do. You know what I would rather do? I would rather read, write and research.

Everyone figured out their hobbies and dream careers during 2020. Me? I am just now figuring it out. I have known researching and writing have been my hobby, I have just been too scared to take steps towards it.

I have now switched my clinic hours to part-time to focus more on my passions. I may make less money, but I am very happy with that decision. I cannot wait until I switch to full time reading, researching and writing!

This whole process inspired me to start a new book. This idea was brewing in my head for a while. I know I have not posted in a while, I definitely did not give myself the proper energy and motivation to get it done. But I am still here and I do plan to see this through. With some rants in between of course!

To conclude, yes. I definitely went just a teensy bit crazy and lost a bit of my mind by going part time on my 9 to 5 (more like 7-7) job to write and read more. Whoopsies!