Escape into the secret passage

An escape is important part of finding happiness in a troubled home. There wasnt much in the 80’s for a child to do other than drive into a book filled with fantastical creatures and hope for a better future. I would spend hours reading these books with the hopes of being pulled into the story like the tale of The Never Ending Story.

Although the adventures Falkor, Bastion and Atreyu were equally inspiring it seemed somewhat lesser to me as a child in that it did not drawl my creativity quite like The Cronicals Of Narnia series. Narnia filled my mind with hope that even with all the bad in the world there will always be good. That people will do anything to help people see the good inside themselves. There will always be magic in the world and it’s worth a leap of faith to trust in the universe. These tales allowed me to hold hope high and enjoy the adventure of life and imagination. Peter, Lucy, Susan, and Edmund helped guide me deeper into imagination magic, with the unlikely friends they would meet.

Finding and stepping into the wardrobe marked the biggest growth within themselves and with all those avidly captured by their story. The leap made upon the step through the wardrobe had them face their biggest fear while also running away from fear and boredom. Through uncharted territories and befriending creatures they wouldn’t otherwise never encountered. They learn to open their hearts to the difference in strangers how to trust and rely on others and also that some cannot be trusted. The made it a point to question the unknown while still enjoying the mystery of a magical new land that they would take back home with them time and time again.

All this took a lot of time inside of Narnia. It was scary for them and empowering. Not only do they muster the courage to fight for those they don’t know. They also find the heart to stand against those they love for the sake of others. Bettering the world of Narnia while being true to themselves. These lessons were not just for the land inside the wardrobe. These were lessons the four of them would take everywhere back in the land they are from.

Aslan helped these kids grow into the great people they always were. By teaching the importance of being truthful, honest and caring, it carved out the fundamental aspect of a compassionate beings. This lesson came at a grave time and the loss of Aslan in the lion the witch and the wardrobe dies. This teaches them about death and dying how it’s not just the end. Something else is shaken down and blossoms once more. It also reflects back on the loss before the wardrobe. A war riddled land and having to escape for safety, what a wonderful thing an imagination can do for a child.

These stories helped me build the courage to overcome my abuser in elementary school. I was a shy, kind and over all good child. I was fearless for my age and way to friendly. I would explore the vast wonders of the world around me, be it the woods near by or walking down the street door to door to sell things for school or girl scouts (brownies). I was very young I was in kindergarten or first grade when the abuse started, but unfortunately I had no clue what was really going on until it was years along. By the time I was in third or fourth grade I had figured out what was happening to me and how wrong it was. I had a lot of negative things thrown at me already during this time. Being bullied and beat at home and bullied at school there was little that was just what I thought was niceness from people.

We had befriended our neighbors and I at the time before I understood what was happening to me, used to enjoy the kindness of my neighbors. We would play over their quite a lot. They had a garden and a pond with frogs and lots of those cat tales groaning out of it. We would pick fresh strawberries from the patch growing next to the pond, it was so delicious. He would give us rides on the tractor to the creek behind the house then back to the house. They had a computer which we would play the original Lemmings on off of the big old floppy disc. But this good times came at a cost to me I never understood until it got alot worse. I was never scared or thought I was in danger over at their home. We had so much fun and children at that age are not aware of the danger adults know all to well about.

When the years went on and that horrible night came, I wasn’t allowed to leave, I was told to just spend the night and I should sleep in this bedroom. This night I thought I was going to die, I thought I was going to be murderer right across the road from my home. No parents to hear my screams because I was muffled and held down. I was just a weak little elementary schooler who just wanted to play pretend and dance amongst the trees. The fear and pain this night brought me taught me so much to early. I wished my the moons light that it would end quickly and when it finally did and the night was now day. I left never to return, I was no longer the same, I felt broken and disgusting.

This event of my life sparked awareness in me. I would never let anyone suffer from the same if I could see it I would stop it. After feeling so weak unable to defend myself, I started to get stronger. But I also became angry and distant. I couldn’t talk to anyone about what happened. I felt I would be shammed and in trouble but mostly I was so ashamed within myself. I thought about how kind he was and that at had felt safer there then at home, and how could I explain this to a family who treats me also so bad. I didn’t want to be beaten more for something out of my control, the nasty thing that were done to me I could not speak aloud.

So I kept getting stronger I built walls and with my imagination I pictured stepping through that wardrobe into a new realm, one of strength and courage to stand up for the ones who can’t do it themselves. I made a pack with myself to never be blind to the struggles of others and to look for signs in others who are suffering with what ever it may be. I still got angry and pushed people away from being close to me, but I helped so many more find their strength to fight the wrongs in their lives. But most importantly it marked the turn my life would need to survive in this dangerous world. It pushed me to step out of myself to find others who didn’t have the courage themselves, those who needed a helping hand from someone not looking to gain anything in return.

This horrible long event that pushed me into my own secret world beyond a wardrobe built me into who I was to become. Who I feel I was always meant to be, the person who will be there for everyone regardless of my own pain. I made a vowel to stand up and support those in need no matter the struggle they faced. This event taught me you are not what happens to you. You are what comes after, the strength to push on and be the good in the world that you needed and you know others need as well.

Although I’ve had my ups and downs with making peace with all that I’ve been through as a child to adulthood I do my best to hold no grudges and become better even when I have fallen. My times with the hardest struggle has passed and I was able to find the truth hidden within myself. I had let that inner child hid within me for years lock away behind walls of protection. In ways I am thankful for everything that has happened, for me to grow and change and still hold true to how I was before it all went wrongly. I’m thankful to have lived and been able to help the countless people I’ve met throughout the country and world.

I joined the United States Marine Corp, I’ve helped take care of senior citizens most who needed full care. Giving hope to one family in particular who was struggling with a second run of polio. She was catatonic for years unable to move on her own other than to eat and look around. She had no use hands, but I too the time to help her start to get back what she lost. Over the months of care I helped her be able to bring a drink to her mouth and also a spoon full of cereal. Before leaving for college she spoke her first sentence in years as brenda reached out and grabbed my arm loudly saying, “No don’t go”, it shocked us all and brought tears to the whole family. This make me regret my choice to move away for college but I had already paid for it so I had to go. Flo and Marvin and Brenda Martin filled me with all the good I could ask for. Seeing her make such improvement in the time I was her care giver is such a gift of life I could never forget.

I gave considerate advice to anyone who needed it. I’ve given hugs to strangers struggling. I’ve worked four years with the homeless in California providing food, clothing, and friendship. Listening to the stories and lives of these humble people who live on the street who still find happiness and kindness in their hearts to still give away what little they have. It’s a beautiful thing life has gave to me in return for making it through. For if it wasn’t for that horrible life changing events I may not have blossomed into who I am today. I am not my struggles or my pains i am the good that hatched from that cocoon of hardship. I’ve become the good I wish upon myself the world. Be what goodness you seek and life will reward you in balance. Never expected it just be it with no want for reward! Life is an experience and the good is only good upon the darkness it births from. Stay hopeful, stay positive, there is light within all darkness!

I love you all, so unique and brilliant in the light within you all. I hope you all find the light and strength within yourselves to keep pushing for that better tomorrow today. Always remember there is always and escape through a secret passageway or wardrobe, imagination is a wonderful thing to embrace wholeheartedly!

Thanks to everyone who read this I truly appreciate the time you took to read this!