Destiny

Hi this is destiny. You ever felt so alone like you don’t belong anywhere. Well I Felt like that my whole life, you know like no matter how many people are around you still feel alone. Growing up I never really fit in with anyone I was always the weird kid always had problems making connections, I mean I had relationships just never deep ones, you know I never had a best friend, I never had a true boyfriend, I mean I did it but I never really had a deep one. I was bully a lot, and one day at school I had these guys trying to jump me so when I met my boyfriend I felt safe. You know he was a bad boy into selling drugs So when I started dating him the kids left me alone they knew he was dangerous, I honestly only got with him because I felt safe around him. We dated for a while, and while I was dating him the bullying stop. Everyone left me alone because they were scared of him I lost my virginity to him. When I was 16 I went over to his house and you know one thing led to another. Then shortly after that I found out that he got a girl pregnant we broke up. I dropped out of school after that. Growing up we was considered poor. My dad went to prison when I was a baby. My mom struggled after that. My mom had 7 kids before my dad went to prison. He was the provider. My mom never worked before so it hit her hard. She now had to provide for 7 kids on her own. My oldest sister hated Babysiting. She wanted to hung out with her friends. So We was left home alone a lot. We all did are own thing. Most of my Sibling got along they were cool fund of one another then there was me the loner. So the first chance of living home I jumped at it. When I was 18 I went to school to get my GED there I meet this this guy. I thought he was cute I didn't know if he liked me or not but we started hunging out. He told me he liked me. We mess around for a while. So he went to play some ball and left his phone, me being nosy I look at it and saw a text it was from his girlfriend I didn't even know he had a girlfriend I was piss. So when we left I was quite the hole walk. He ask me what wrong I didn't say anything but when he looked at his phone he knew. He text me later trying to explaining how he wanted to tell me be he liked me and didn't want to ruin are Relationship I was so mad how could he not tell me. So later on we meet up on The bleachers when I saw him I just started crying I liked him so most I didn't know what to do he grab/huged me. He ask me how I felt but at that moment I didn't know what to say so I said nothing he got mad at me for not expressing my feeling but what could I say how could you you lead me on for weeks then you get a girlfriend. I want to my room heart broken wishing I had of yelled at him, hit him did something to show him how mad I was. After that I just sat in my room angry at him and angry at myself

Part one

Author Kourtney Shields