Debt

I reread the entry below which I wrote on April 22, 2021, and titled “Debt”. In the back of my mind, I always thought about posting it, but something kept me back, and that something is fear. In the entry below, I wrote about my fear for money - I now write, fear in and of itself needs to be handled. By me.

Close to six months later, I have taken a huge chunk out of my debt and I am proud of myself for that. I know there is a long way to go still. However, I am confident the debt will get taken care of, sooner or later. It is the fear(s), that need to be addressed.

If you would like to skip to the original piece I wrote down below to get the back story, please feel free. Reading it from here, through, will also work. I appreciate you taking the time to read and hope it provides some insight and even if you are not in debt, it can resonate and bring light. If you are dealing with debt, please know, the uphill climb is possible. I have not surpassed it, but am in the journey and believe any help we can provide each other is always a blessing.

To start paying off this debt, I really became minimalistic and starting using only things that serve a purpose. A purpose to what I would like to become. And that is be immersed in the fitness and art world. All other material things, I would look to sell and not bring into my life to begin with.

As for income, I have had some success with fitness training, and now that I am at a couple of gyms, in the community, and with a program launched, that has certainly picked up. This will be a continual growth and my core. One may ask or say, “Mike, what makes you so sure it is going to continue to ‘grow’?” My responses to that is whether it is through money, personal, or both, it is going to help me grow. Hence, I am immersing in it.

No shying away from unemployment. I received those checks, as well. And yes, I even felt guilty but I was reminded that this is money that I have earned. Once September came, and there were more voice machines to deal with and phone calls to be made, I said enough of the checks. Since September, I can officially call myself self-employed, as well as working for a few gyms.

Today, I am going to tell my friend(s)/colleague(s) that I can no longer work for their business platform company. I tried, but it just wasn’t me. I’ll look to write more about this later.

There is money out there. I really learned through garage sale flipping and NFT trading. Albeit a bit risky at times, it can provide money.

The non-risky part to attacking my debt I am discovering, is doing something that I truly believe in. That is why I am immersing in helping others through fitness and another reason I have decided to revisit this article to help through ‘art’.

I enjoy writing, and we all have a story to tell, a story that helps someone else. So if you happen to have read this, then yes, you have a story that is waiting to be told and heard by someone to make their day and ultimately, ‘pay their bills’, whatever they may be.

I will be sure to revisit this entry when I am closer to my goal of getting out of debt or when I am completely in the plus.

Here is the funny thing about the ‘plus’ though…

We ALL were born into this world with nothing in our hands.

So, if we believe this to be true, then everything in life is already a plus, no matter how many setbacks there may be.

Gratitude.

Not sure where I heard or read this, but I bet it was within these past six months.

Here’s to paying off our debts.

___

4/22/21

Before I knew it, I am at -$XX,XXX.

Not sure how it happened. I would not even know where to rewind to. I remember my days before even having a real job and living off my graduation money and being down to my last $50. I was able to make $50 stretch for a month. Still to this day, not sure how I did that.

My last $50 back then, I spent at Club Abyss within fifteen minutes of being there, disgusted and knowing that it is time for a change.

Fast forward some ten years later and I am in debt of $XX,XXX. Granted, I have a 401K and a loving family, so I have some space to breathe, but I know this is a hole that is going to be extremely difficult to dig out of, as well as recover from. I will though. I am doing it.

It started out with a Sears Credit Card to build my credit. I was doing well with that card, mainly because my Dad kept a watchful eye. Then came my Bank of America card when I got my first job with a direct deposit. I knew nothing about money back then. Thought I did.

No more watchful eye from my father and an “independent” life ahead of me. I will always love my Acura TSX and will never regret getting that car. I went for it. Even then, I understood, it may be a little bit out of my means, but I knew I can get it done. I believed in myself that someway I would change my financial situation and make up for the payments. I always made the car and insurance payments on time. The credit card though, was slowly building. It had begun.

Even back in the Mazda Protégé days, I was slowly starting to explore spending. Thinking back to it now, I do not think it was my spending that was a problem, but the fact that I really did not have any money goals. Of course, I wanted to have a lot of it, but there was no plan and there was no daily action towards it. So, my journey to debt had begun.

The Acura days sped it up and then moving out and living in Hoboken really ramped it up. I was making a good amount of 40X over rent but had no idea what living on my own would cost me. All the experimenting, really cost me. I would not take back one second of it though. And only a year into Hoboken, I knew, I wanted to live in the city. Every day, I would look across the river. First in awe, then in pain. Pain because I was not able to achieve it. So close, yet so far. It did not make sense.

That is the time though I started making a plan. I knew I had to get my finances in order to move and had to build up cash. I sacrificed paying off debt to build up this cash because I truly knew that the city would create the opportunity for me to reel myself back in financially. Even if it cost a whole lot more. This led me to really learning how to save. I saved and saved. Then I moved home for a month and on September 12, 2017, my dreams became true. I was approved for my first apartment in New York City. That felt amazing. I knew it would not be easy and this time the rent was exactly 40X what I was making. I knew I had to hustle. I did not really know how though. I simply hustled. Also hustled to have experiences and I showed up everywhere. This too, I would not take back one second of it. I made the most of everything I had, and I learned a lifetime of lessons. I cannot wait to be back. I will be back. So much more ready. New York made me.

Now, I had to delete this past sentence. New York City did not put me into debt. I put myself into $XX,XXX debt. This was more so from not having a plan to the spending habits. Yes, I booked hotels, purchased tickets/drinks out of my budget. Injuries and a pandemic also took a toll, but my spirit was high. My situation with Wiley was not good, but I made sure to fight and show up every day. I do not owe debt anywhere else.

I am home now. Sitting on my bedroom floor against the wall. I ask myself – how am I going to pay off this debt now? No more steady income. Maybe not. But so much more steady fight, focus, hunger, love, action, will, desire, plan, do.

This is what will pay off my debt within this year. I will spend each day working on it and acting upon it to make it slowly disappear. I will do this through learning, working, striving, and being. Being myself. Not being afraid of money. It was not until yesterday, that I admitted, I was afraid of money. No more.

Now, I have a very healthy respect of money and understanding for money. I view it as a tool. I see the benefits. And I am learning to view more of the benefits than the negativity that money can bring. Of course, I truly believe that it is about doing what you love and when you find what you love, you must be fully confident to go after it and completely obsess over it. Fitness is that for me. Connecting with individuals and helping to make their day better through fitness, mindset, and journey is what I love to do. I believe I can help anyone in this regard. All it takes is one minute of speaking. Communicating. Feeling. Being.

I must be open. I must be open to change. Learning. Hearing other opinions and really listening. No, like really listening. I admit sometimes, I am not the best listener. It comes from good intentions because I believe I have a lot to offer and am anxious to help. I must learn though that the best way to help is to listen. Be in debt of listening.

Then serve. And that debt will surely be paid off.