Dear Journal

Dear Journal,

This is my first entry. I have so much to talk about, so many to things to say. Where do I even start? I guess I will start with the stuff that is in the front of my brain first. So, there is this girl I have been seeing around. Well, it's a little more than that. I have talked to this girl and I have a superficial relationship with her mother. The girl is a year older than my oldest daughter. The mother is a year or so older than me. Mom has two other children. She has a younger daughter that is about 4 and a 7 month old infant son. On the outside, they appear normal. They have a house and a vehicle. The kids go to school. Mom doesn't work. She doesn't have any visible disabilities. She could be impaired mentally some how and maybe that prevents her from being able to work. I know for sure that the family receives government assistance. I know for sure because we had a conversation about it. I had mentioned having and using food stamps and she related by saying she gets stamps, cash assistance as well as subsidized housing. Shoot! I wish I could get subsidized housing lol.

I started noticing that her van has been gone a lot, especially at night. I'm not out here being a creep and spying on people in the neighborhood, I notice the van is gone at night because I get home at 12:30 am from work. Now, I am not one to judge anyone because I'm not perfect myself, but when I had an infant at home, I was at home too.

Apparently, the daughter has confided in my daughter.

"She seems really nice. She is very soft spoken", my daughter told me.

She says that her mom leaves her at home with her young siblings a lot and for long periods of time. It isn't unusual for her mom to not come home until after 3 in the morning sometimes. As a result of this, she has been missing school. She misses school because she doesn't get enough sleep. She stays up or has to keep getting up to sooth, feed or change her brother. She is also responsible for cooking dinner for the house every night. She says she enjoys cooking though. She must clean the house as well.

None of that sits well with me. This child is essentially running the household. She is the mom because her actual mom can't be bothered with responsibilities and is out living her best life. At the same time though, many oldest children live that way. My mom is an oldest child. My grandmother made her watch her two little sisters all the time. My mom didn't like it, so she didn't do the same to her children. I am the oldest child. My brother and I are 2 years, 4 months and 18 days apart. As a child, I never had to clean our house or cook. A huge difference though is that my mom has a husband. That means she had another adult in the house to lean on. My grandmother and the mom of the teen girl have no other adult in the home. They are both single moms.

I am a single mother of two. My oldest daughter is 16 and my youngest is 6. I don't make my oldest daughter babysit her sister. She doesn't have to cook dinner. She cooks if and when she wants to. If I ask her for help with her sister or dinner though, she helps me. Cleaning the house is a shared job. Each of us pitches in. I don't know. I just feel like it's unfair to burden a child with adult duties. The child can and should help out with the household if mom needs help, but it should not be mandatory. Just my opinion. What do you think journal? Anyway, I'll talk to you later girl!