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Dancer at a Desk

The most painful oxymoron if there ever was one

By Cheryl LyonsPublished 3 years ago 3 min read
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The most painful oxymoron if there ever was one.

A mover by nature, confined to a ninety degree, mid level, squat-like position. Ankles that remain in dorsiflexion. Lower lumbar pain creeping it’s way into existence day in and day out.

Why on earth would a dancer willingly work a job with no movement requirements listed in their administrative responsibilities?

Because it pays well, that’s why.

So often, dancers have to supplement their true passion with a 9-5 that they enjoy particularly less than they enjoy spending hours en pointe perfecting their pique turns. Until we make it big, the payouts of our fly-by-night gig lifestyle just don’t cut it when those bills come rolling in. As unfortunate as that sounds, the experience is much worse.

But I didn’t choose to write about this subject because I want to complain about my job… well, that wasn’t the only reason I chose this subject. I wanted to write about it to see if I could write myself out of these negative thoughts and emotions, ( and the crooks and aches they have successfully translated into my body ) and write myself into some sense of motivation and new found inspiration to get active about my pursuit to make my passion my livelihood.

Yes, I’m a dancer. Yes, I spend seven and a half hours sitting down behind not one, but TWO computer screens, entering in pointless information for coworkers that won’t blink twice at it. Yes, I do tireless and tedious activities that probably nobody benefits from. Yes, I work with people that have no idea what I’m talking or thinking about as I also do not understand what goes through their minds.

Let me specify, I work at a law firm… with people that argue for a living. We will never fully understand each other.

But let me just make one thing clear, when I leave this building, hobbling on my very uncomfortable and unpractical shoes, I AM A DANCER.

I retire to my six hundred square foot apartment, rearrange my furniture, stand in front of my mirror wall and I remind myself that this body I’m encapsulating was meant to move. And so I do just that.

Turning on some music and letting myself shed the day’s wound-up, uptight energy. The VERY UNNECESSARY stress that floats around the office because Heaven forbid someone doesn’t have a Precise V5 Rolling Ball Pilot pen handy to sign for their seven hundred thousand dollar settlement check.

Nope. None of that matters anymore, because I am home and I am moving and I am allowing myself to be the person I was meant to be.

Sometimes I just move and move and move until I’m sweaty and I cannot fathom anymore movement patterns or sequences that need to come out of my body. Sometimes I challenge myself to learn a fast-paced, crazy intricate routine from one of my most idolized choreographers.

See, I went and purchased a subscription to one of those online dance class apps when I got hired here for a multitude of reasons but it has turned out to be a very smart purchase… if I knew anything about consistency I would be back in my best shape.

Consistency huh, it’s a marvelous concept. The idea that if you do something repeatedly, it will become an ingrained part of your daily living, like updating intellectual property law books and entering postage fee logs into a financial tracking system. Would that consistent action make my daily lifestyle synonymous to a young woman working a boring desk job? Absolutely.

But can I do something to distort that declaration? Abso-freaking-lutely.

So I dance as much or as little as my body says to dance. I stretch and wiggle all of the days nonsensical worries out of the divots of my joints and the fibers of my muscles. And I think, very fleeting thoughts, of what it would feel like to only have this one thing listed on my to-do list every single day.

October 23rd, 2020 : Dance today.

That’s it.

A freaking love story from me to me.

We all start somewhere though, so here is my start. An attempt to remove the end of the title I put upon myself and just be a dancer.

workflow
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