Cuddle Me Comfort

In the summer of 09, I was planning a trip to Indonesia. I purchased a flight with Japanese Airlines, which would take about fourteen hours. Knowing the trip would be overwhelmingly exhausting, I decided to stay a night in Japan to recuperate.

Since it was my first time visiting the country, my excitement kept me up late reading online articles. I read about their host clubs, themed cafes, and the most recent trend of surrogate boyfriends. Apparently, with Japan's advanced technology, many adult males have lost interest in the dating world. And this, in turn, created a market for lonely women seeking the company of a relationship.

One of the services they offered was cuddling, something I first found peculiar. I always thought that cuddling was an intimate act, best saved for couples. The idea of outsourcing it to a stranger was nonsense, an opinion I would later come to reconsider in life.

Flash forward nine years later, and I found myself feeling desolated. Years of failing at romance had bittered my heart, creating an empty sensation in my life. The feeling of desolation only grew when I change careers, leaving behind a rich social environment to work remotely from home.

Day after day, I struggled with loneliness. Social media and being outdoors served to only remind me of my have nots, forcing me to seclude myself at home and perpetuating my isolation. During these times, I reminisced of my younger years, regretting all the things I overlooked. I considered what life would've been like if maybe, I was a bit more open-minded back then.

I thought about the summer of 09, being twenty-two years old and had freedom and choices. It was then that I remembered about the online article I read, surrogate boyfriends and cuddling services. Curious about it, and now understanding the appeal of it, I decided to explore the internet. I was surprised to find the services available, and that it had become quite popular in certain circles.

There was a significant online presence, communities full of enthusiasts seeking to find cuddling partners. After looking through numerous websites, I found one that seemed to suit me. I read the profile of a nice young woman who seemed very interested in cuddling, deciding to contact her to schedule a session with her.

Instead of scheduling a session at home, I elected to rent a small yoga space in the city. I was so nervous about meeting her, unsure if she was normal or the person in the profile. Even though it's embarrassing to admit, I felt I was meeting someone for a first date. But I was happy to find she was who she said she was, and with a wonderful outgoing personality.

The site charged by the hour, and all I could afford at the time was two hours. While we were cuddling, I was surprised to find we had a lot in common, sharing fiction writing and anime interests. The pleasant conversation and warm touch were just what I needed, creating an intimacy that I longed for in life.

Not shortly long did our session came to an end, but not our time together. Having developed a friendship during our time, we spent the rest of the day together. We held hands and cuddled more while watching a movie, having lunch, and exploring the city. She was originally from Miami and only here in NYC visiting, with her flight scheduled for tomorrow morning.

In a turn of events, her accommodation for her last night fell through. I felt terrible and decided to pay for her new hotel, and she reciprocated the kind gesture by offering an overnight session. I didn't know what that entailed, but she informed me it was merely cuddling asleep together. So after having dinner, we went back to the hotel and spent the rest of the night watching anime and cuddling. In those short few hours before morning, comfort, content, and calmness filled me.

The empty sensation and feeling of desolation were gone, like a weight filled with doubt and fear, suddenly lifted from my shoulders. Even though those feelings would eventually return, thanks to life's pressures and challenges, I felt assured of having the means to disconnect and recuperate from it.

During the following year, I met with another cuddler and developed a steady cuddling relationship. The biweekly cuddle session allowed me the means for a mindful break, reenergizing myself from the hardships of life. I realized that I didn't need to be in a relationship to find fulfillment and intimacy, which I desperately sought for as long as I could remember.

The best cuddlers are ones that give their attention, affection and acknowledges you as a person. Living in a city, considered never to sleep, I was finally able to rest peacefully. And I would highly recommend anyone, who felt like me, so schedule a cuddler. You'd be surprised by how a simple hug or touch can have a lasting effect, especially now, as we all search for a new norm in life.