Creative Burnout and Why I'll (Probably) Never Return To Scheduled Content

Writing has been part of my life for as long as I can remember. From the moment I could string together a coherent sentence on paper, it was one of my favourite things to do, and I’m sure I was bugging people with verbal tales long before that. So, when I found out that I didn’t need to wait for years searching for a publisher and discovered the wonders of almost instant online posting, I was over the moon. Unfortunately, these ventures rarely worked out fantastically.

Most of my attempts at online writing are long gone now. Even I don’t have access to some of my posts anymore, which is probably for the best. But there is one experiment that occasionally pops back into my head and makes me shudder. The case of my first ‘blog’.

At around the age of 19, I decided it was about time I start making my way in the world as a ‘serious author’. Everything else I’d done up until that point had been a test run, child’s play, and now I was finally ready to do things properly. I looked into the sort of things real authors were supposed to do and got to work. The first step was easy, get myself some public social media accounts. I set up a Twitter (@CE_Author) and a Tumblr (cetidswell-author), which remain the only things left fully active from this time. Step two, get a website, was a lot more tricky. I had no idea how to code and I certainly didn’t have the money for a website builder. Besides, what would I even put on there? Step two continues to be incomplete. So, onto step three, offer content outside of your stories to get people interested.

This step brought up a few ideas in my mind, but only two were seriously considered. One was a YouTube channel. After all, I adored video essays, and I was growing increasingly interested in author Youtubers like Jenna Moreci and Alexa Donne. YouTube remains something I want to try my hand at one day. Still, I was far too camera shy and clammed up every time I hit record. Even if I wasn’t so nervous, I have no editing experience and no proper equipment. One girl and her webcam is not the winning formal it was in 2009. So, that left me with option two. A good old-fashioned blog.

The blog, Space Bloggity (a silly name which I actually still like and feel bad about wasting), was in many ways a precursor to this Vocal account. It was a place for me to put everything and anything. Short stories, pop culture lists, trivia. All the little things I’d been wanting to write for ages, but didn’t really know where to put, finally had a place. It seemed ideal and, for the first few weeks, it really was.

So, what was the problem? If I had the perfect platform for all my random musings, then why did it all fall apart? Well, it all comes back round to that ‘serious author’ thing. That idea that was so fixed on. One thing I’d heard from those who had managed to make writing their full-time career was that consistency was key. It was vital to have a frequent and regular upload schedule so that readers could comfortably rely on you for content. Weekly was the best option. Not too much content, not too little. The perfect middle ground.

Considering what I know about algorithms, I’m sure sticking to schedule would help my stats. Plus, having a timetable with deadlines to stick to really does help some people with their creative process. For me though, trying to write, edit, and upload an article every week was draining me, especially while trying to juggle university. Space Bloggity quickly went from a source of joy to a source of dread. If you were following me at all at the time or if you somehow stumbled across the page, it was definitely clear in my work that I was struggling, as my ideas grew more and more thin. By the end, even thinking about writing an article was exhausting and the quality dropped significantly.

Around December of 2019, I decided to allow myself a break to focus on some university work and enjoy the holidays. I think I planned for it to last two weeks, but I can’t remember now. The fortnight became a month, a month became two months. I logged on a few times, convinced I’d be able to come up with something, but it was no good. In a very short space of time, I’d managed to burn myself out. The thing I once loved with all my heart, I now hated. I quietly announced on Twitter that the blog likely wouldn’t be coming from hiatus and never brought it up again until now.

It’s been about two years since I threw in the towel with Space Bloggity, though it feels like a lot longer. It now floats alone on the internet, ironically holding an article about how I’d never abandon it. I don’t think I hate it anymore. After all, mistakes are a key part of growing. I do wish I’d done things differently though. It would have saved a lot of stress. Hopefully, I can take what I’ve learnt forward and not mess up this page in the same way. Of course, I’m still working to become an author, though I’ve stopped caring as much about the ‘serious’ part, and while I’m committed to posting often where possible, I don’t think they’ll be anymore upload schedules in my future. From now on, I’ll write when I have an idea. It’s better for all of us that way.

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