Between Cigarettes

Darcy took a long drag of her Camel Light. She blew it out, and watched the smoke fly away from Al’s Fryin’ Pan. She had been working the graveyard shift at that twenty-four-hour greasy spoon for almost twenty years. A little more than a third of her fifty-five years on this on this earth.

She always stood wherever the smoke wouldn’t blow towards customers walking in or out. She knew smoking was a disgusting habit, and it was her disgusting habit, not theirs. She had given up trying to quit. Those little bastards had their hooks in too deep.

It was just after one 1:30am when she polished off this, the second of five cigarettes she would knock down tonight. It was all like clockwork. She washed her hands, and gave her hair a perfunctory once-over. To pass the time before the late night crowd showed up, she talked to the head line cook, Jeremy, better known as Germs. It was an ironic nickname. He was a good kid who ran a tight ship while he was at work. She was worried about his drug use though, and knew it was likely only a matter of time before it started showing up at work.

Right on cue, the real go-getter drunks wobbled in around the time the local bars were making their last calls. Darcy was used to drunk customers, and was proud of the reputation she had as the best late-night waitress in the city of Sioux Falls, South Dakota. Her regulars usually outnumbered the random dunks that came in, and those regulars could always be counted on deal with anyone who got out of line.

The worst part of her night was between bar close at 2:00am and around 3:00. Roughly half of the early late-night crowd where still getting drunker as they sat there, aggressively slurring their orders for eggs and bacon. Ninety nine out of a hundred, she could handle on her own, no problem. The other one out of a hundred, she just had to keep contained until the bartenders showed up.

Once that gang showed up, she had a fun group of only slightly buzzed, cashed up, industry professionals, who all knew her name and threw fistfulls of cash at her. If she had a real problem with one of the civilians, the off-duty bartenders were always eager to jump in. They’d been putting up with these animals for hours, and were now off the clock.

Tonight wasn’t going to be a tough night. She could feel it. After all these years, she had a sense for how things would go by the smell in the room. Plus, it was Thursday night. The people who knew how to drink like adults went out on Thursdays. On Friday and Saturday, it was the God damned wild west in there.

She went about her work. Her mind, thousands of miles away, remembering her last trip to Barcelona. None of her tables would have the slightest inkling that she wasn’t right there in the moment. She’d been doing this so long, her autopilot was better than most waiters' full concentration. Not an empty cup of coffee. Not a joke unanswered. Not an over-medium egg where a sunny-side-up should be.

As she approached table 32, her attention came back to the here and now. It was just one guy. Young, but not a kid. He had on a suit, and tie. Unusual for the Thursday night crowd. She felt she recognized him, but couldn’t place it. He smiled a recognizing smile at her. She asked how he was in the same sentence she asked him for his drink order.

He said, “High Darcy.” with a wry grin. That grin sealed it. She was knew she knew this guy.

“Ya know, you look familiar, but I’m sorry. I just can’t place you.” She said. She’d learned a long time ago that the best way out of an awkward situation was to just throw your cards on the table, face up, and start the whole conversation over from scratch.

“It’s all good.” He said, chuckling a little through that grin. “I’d be surprised if you did. I’m Kevin. I used to work at the Left Hook on tenth street.”

He hadn’t gotten the ‘k’ in hook out before her eyes began to widen.

“Oh. My. God. Kevin!? What are you doing back in town? I heard you fled for the coast.”

“I’m just visiting. My grandma passed away.”

Her internal clock rang an alarm. “I’m so sorry Kev. I gotta go grab a couple orders. Black coffee, eggs sunny and runny, sausage, and rye toast, right?”

“Unbelievable. Yeah. That’ll be great. Don’t let me hold you up.”

She scampered away from table 32. Working her whole life on her feet hadn’t turned her into a bucket of bolts. She was still pretty light on a pair of feet tough enough to bend nails. Kevin. Wow. As soon as he said it, she recognized him. It was the short hair, and the suit that threw her.

He had been one of her favorite regulars. He used to work at one of the roughest bars in the city. The type of place that didn’t have security, but the owner thought it would be a big draw to play every ultimate fighting pay-per-view on the TVs. Kevin had come in with his bartender buds with blood stains on their shirts more than a few times.

If something bad happened at Al’s, if someone got out of control, it was always better when Kevin was there. He never lost his cool. He didn’t want anyone to get hurt, but protecting the staff at Al’s was always his first priority. When things were normal, he was always nice, funny, even charming. He had a shot or two and a beer with his fellow bartenders after their shift, but she never saw him drunk. Kevin. Huh.

While her mind dwelled on those thoughts, she entered three orders in the computer, filled half a dozen cups of coffee, and ran two table-loads of food out from the kitchen. A little later, she ran Kevin his food and filled his coffee. He said thanks, but didn’t try to talk her ear off. She got through the bartender crowd, no problem. Keven finished eating, but stuck around and sipped on coffee while mostly looking out the window.

When the rush settled down, Darcy went and sat across from him.

“Sorry I was so busy earlier. Sorry again for your grandma.”

“Thanks. I see you still got it. You could’ve done all that while juggling chainsaws.”

“Nothing to it.” She leaned forward on her elbows. “So, give me the short version. How’re you doing? Where are you these days?”

“Okay, let’s see. The short version.” He leaned back and slung his arm over the back of the booth. This is why everybody loved Darcy. Not because she brought the right things to the table, but because she made everyone feel important. She cared. You can’t fake that. “Did some fancy bartending in L.A. for a couple of years. Decided to start over, so I moved to Minneapolis and finished school. Got a good job in Memphis, met a pretty girl, and married her. Now I’m here saying goodbye to my mom’s mom.”

“Wow. You just decided to start over.”

“Yeah. I wasn’t getting any younger, and the bartending thing has a pretty low ceiling.” He chuckled through another one of those grins. “Also, I got dumped by a great chick who I was completely in love with. She said she needed to be with someone who had ambition. She didn’t see me making any moves, so she left.”

“And you figured you’d get your degree, and what, win her back?”

“Oh no. Things were said there that can’t be unsaid. But I figured if I ever wanted to get another girl like her and keep her, I’d better get my act together.”

“Did you?”

“I said I was married.”

Darcy rolled her eyes. “I mean did you get another girl as good as the other girl.”

“Better.”

“Oh, good for you. You like your job?”

“Love it.”

She reached over, and squeezed the hand he still had on the table. “That’s so great to hear Kevin. You’re a great guy. You deserve it.”

“Thanks Darcy. You’re the best. I wasn’t going to visit Sioux Falls, and not come to Al’s to see you. I’m really glad I did.”

“Me too.” She looked around the restaurant. Two new tables were sitting down. “I have to go greet those guys. You want more coffee?”

“Naw. I’ll take the check. It was really great seeing you again.”

“You too. I’ll be right back with that.” She got up from the table, and did her job. She dropped his check. He left a predictably huge tip. He gave her a hug before he said goodbye, and walked out of Al’s Fryin’ Pan. Once Darcy dropped the food off at the new tables, she knew she had time for cigarette number three of the night.

She went outside, checked the wind direction, and lit up another Camel. She had wanted to do what Kevin did a hundred times or more. She had looked up colleges. She had looked up the cost of rent in the cities they were in. She had even spoken to an academic advisor once.

It never made it past the daydream phase. Darcy had never followed through. The change always seemed so big and uncomfortable, like a duvet in the summer. Seeing him on the other side of that made her feel rotten. She couldn’t even really be happy for him, which made her feel selfish, which made her feel even worse.

She had always thought something would come. A better job, a good man, hitting the lotto, something. She had never made anything happen. Never took the leap on her own. Now she was too old. She was only good at one thing, and while she still did it well, she doubted that would last much longer.

She looked down at her almost finished cigarette. She threw it away without smoking the rest. She wiped away the tears that were moistening her lower eyelids. She stood there a moment, trying to find a big life-changing thought. It’s never too late... No, sometimes it is. If you really apply yourself… No, she’d never really done that, and was pretty sure she didn’t actually know how.

Darcy sucked a short breath between her teeth. She looked down the empty street both ways, looking for something. Anything that might suggest there could be something else for her. She hung her head for a second, then shook it. She had guests that needed coffee. She had food waiting in the window. Germs would be ringing the bell any second now.

She put her cigarettes back in her pocket, and with them the last hope of a different life. Her life wasn’t that bad. She made more money that most kids coming out of college did. She had a cute apartment, and an ugly dog. That made her smile as she walked back in and washed her hands. She heard the bell ring. She knew it was only two plates. She could grab the coffee pitcher on the way, and kill two birds with one stone.

She was really good at this.