Be Comfortable

1:

Display your real personality. One of the biggest misconceptions many people have is that they need to pretend to be someone they are not in order to get someone to like them. Be yourself around your crush, and he/she will appreciate you for who you are.

• Show your special someone your true personality by sharing your interests and hobbies, sharing jokes that you think are funny, sharing what type of music you like, and acting in a way that feels comfortable for you.
• Never apologize for who you are! If your crush does not understand or appreciate your personality, then you need to consider whether you should continue to romantically pursue this person.

2:

Build a friendship with your special someone. A great way to start feeling more comfortable around your crush is be friends with him/her first. While you take time to get to know him/her better, focus on building up that friendship and trust between the two of you. Then, you will feel calmer and more comfortable around your crush.

• You could even try behaving around your special someone the way that you do around your friends. Treating him/her like a friend, and thinking of your crush as friend, might help you to feel more comfortable.

3:

Have confidence in your appearance. Girls in particular struggle with this. There is often a feeling of always needing to look perfect when around your special someone. However, displaying confidence even when you do not look your best helps you to relax around him/her.[3]

• Wear clothing that feels comfortable to you. You do not always have to dress to impress; wearing jeans and a t-shirt or even sweatpants, if you are hanging out at home, is perfectly acceptable. If you are going on a date with your special someone, know where you are going or at least get an idea of what appropriate attire is. Dressing appropriately but comfortably will boost your confidence.[4]
• Having good hygiene habits also helps with comfort and confidence. Be sure to take care of your personal hygiene at all times.

4:

Accept yourself for who you are. Many people cite that the most attractive quality of a person is the ability to be confident about who you are.[5] Know your flaws but be accepting of them, because this will help you be more relaxed around everyone, especially your crush.

• Be kind and forgiving to yourself when you do or say something silly. Chances are that your crush will find it cute and endearing, and it will not be a big deal unless you make it one.

Getting to Know Your Special Someone

1:

Spend more quality time with your special someone.[6] One of the easiest ways to become more comfortable with someone is to simply make plans to spend more time with him/her. You can invite your special someone to hang out one-on-one, or you can plan a group activity where many people will be present, including your special someone.

• The more you spend time with someone, the less nervous you'll feel.

2:

Ask your special someone open-ended questions.[8] Open-ended questions are ones in which the answer is detailed, more than a simple "yes" or "no." Learning more about your crush will help you find things that you have in common and will help relax you.

• "What is your favorite thing to do when you have some free time?"
• "What is your favorite memory from your childhood?"
• "Where is the coolest place you've ever been?"
• "What is your favorite thing about your family?"
• "What is your favorite genre of music?"
• "Where is your favorite place to hang out?"
• "If money were no object, what would you do with your life? Why?"
• "If you could be an animal, which one would you be? Why?"
• "If you could go on a vacation to anywhere in the world, where would you go? Why?"
• "Have you traveled much? Where have you gone?"
• "What is your favorite hobby?"

• "What is the craziest thing you've ever eaten?"

3:

Answer questions about yourself honestly. It is really important to be honest about yourself, because pretending to be someone you are not will eventually backfire. Your special someone will find out the truth at some point, and your chance at a relationship with him/her will likely disappear.

• Being honest builds trust between the two of you. Think about how you would feel if you discovered that your crush lied to you.

4:

Suggest activities to do that you both enjoy. As you hang out or go on dates with your special someone, you should make a point of suggesting activities in which you both have an interest and will enjoy. If any awkward silences come up during the activity, you will have something enjoyable to break the ice.

• Hang out in a group with mutual friends.
• Go see a live band or to a concert.
• Play board or video games that you both know.
• Have a movie marathon with movies you both like.